BowlerGirl

Arrival

2011-12-01T00:50:00.024-05:00

She's here! Well, she has been here for quite some time now. I'm just finally getting around to writing about the event.

Look at those cheeks! And the hair!

10:00am I went in for a doctor's appointment. I had hit the 39 week mark. After 5 pluss weeks of having serious contractions I made the desicion to have my membranes stripped. I figured . . .hey what the heck, Dr. O's already up in lady-town checking out how things are, he may as well get things going. The good doctor had reported that I was dilated to 3 cm and 80% effaced when I gave him the directions to strip the membranes. He paused, looked at me and said "Don't kick me in the face while I do this, it's going to hurt." Oh my, it DID. With El Bambina I hadn't even noticed it had happened. This time there was no question about it.

I left with the info I was closer to 4 cm dialated and to call if the contractions got any stronger and closer. Now folks, alot of you are going to say "What the %&*$$9!!" at this next admission.

I left and drove home. 35 miles away. From the Doctor. 35 miles away. From the closest hospital. 35 miles people!
Crazy town is where I was at.

Noon I picked up El Bambina from a friends house. We picked up some lunch. Then headed to the park to meet with some other moms and kids for Park Day (this is a sacred day of the week for the toddler). I sat and chatted with the moms while the kids ran around like wild things. I hoped that E.B. would get all her energy out and be ready for a nap. I knew that I needed one ASAP.

After about an half an hour I realized I was having contractions. REAL contractions. I rounded up my wild thing, told the moms I would probably not be seeing them the next week and drove myself home. Driving myself around while in labor seems to be a re-occuring theme for me.

1:00pm Thankfully E.B. was maxxed out and went down easily for a nap. I rested on the couch for a while and timed the contractions. They were 7 minutes apart. I figured it was time to get El Senor home, since he was more than an hour away.

2:30pm El Senor arrived home. We talked about our plan of action. I was still only having contractions every 7 minutes or so. I checked with the hospital and the nurse felt I was good to stay at home for another while.

I closed my eyes for a few minutes and tried to rest. Then I called my friend Tricia who was gonig to take care of E.B. and put her on alert. I then suggested to El Senor that he take a nap.

E.B. was now awake and wanted to go outside. (Outside is her great mecca, all day every day that is all she wants to do...go outside!) I decided to comply with her request. I figured this was our last Party of 2 Play Date.

I was getting emotional as I realized that my first born was going to be getting a very big suprise when she realized she was not the only kid on the block. Did you feel that? As if you were suddenly ruining everything for your first child by having a second? The irrational fear that you were somehow damaging their perfect world? I have to say, being in labor does not a sane woman make. Every crazy thought I had ever had was now swirling through my head and being magnified.

Moving on.

3:30pm E.B. and I headed out doors. Glorious. What a beautiful day it was! She wore a pair of darling jeans and I striped shirt. I was in my favorite pair of cut off sweats. We both wore our crocs I decided to walk around the block to see if the contractions would get closer together.

I never want to forget how sweet that little walk around our neighborhood was.

E.B. pushed one of her baby dolls along in her small purple stroller, her bright blond hair looked like a halo fluffing out around her head. She was rumpled and flushed from her nap. And a little grubby from being at the park. I remember stopping with her to pick up a rock. As I admired it I inhaled her sent. . . she smelled like sweet little girl and dirty puppy all rolled together. We waved to our neighbors. We stopped and chatted with my aunt and uncle. E.B. was slipped a roll of smarties. We slowlly continued on our way. Slowly, slowly as she explored and my contractions grew closer together.

We returned home and E.B. jumped on the trampoline, went down the slide and climbed up and down the stairs. I sat and called encouragement and tried to memorize the moment. The air was warm and golden. I tried to relax and call up all my womanly powers for the hours ahead. The contractions were now coming 4 to 5 minutes apart. Finally I told E.B. we needed to go find Daddy.

4:30pm We were all loaded into the car (El Senor was driving this time) and heading to drop of E.B. to our friend's house for the night. E.B. was confused as to why she was at Tricia's house so late, but was ready to run around with her friends. I gave her one last fierce squeeze and gave her to Tricia. El Senor and I loaded ourselves back into the Suby and headed for the hospital.

As we hit I-15 I was staring to feel the pain. I had put it on hold while taking care of E.B. There was now no denying that I was hurting. I had been telling El Senor that I wanted to do this without an epidural for almost 10 months. Now as I lay there sweating and swept up in pain I told him to toss that plan. I felt that after 5 weeks of being uncomforatble and often in pain was enough. I had paid my dues and wanted an epidural STAT.

5:00pm We arrived at the hospital. As we started to get out of the car I asked El Senor to give me a blessing. I knew as he spoke the words over me that everything was going to be OK. Although I was still physically in pain, I could feel my emotional worries melting away. We slowly made our way into the hospital. The contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart and intense.

Imagine our suprise as we entered the lobby to be greeted by a blue-hair convention. I'm still not sure what they were there celebrating, but there was wine involved. As we crossed the lobby one of the little old ladies asked us if we were there to attend a lamaze class. When we told her no, we were there to have a baby a loud cheer went up from the group. It's amazing the noise that more than fifty grannies can make.

5:30pm We were checked in and I was being monitored. The baby's heart beat was strong and the contractions were regular. After being on the monitor for 30 minutes the nurse unhooked me so I could move around. I still hadn't gotten the epidural. During our drive El Senor had talked me down and kept telling me I could do it! I didn't need the epidural.

6:30pm Wow. WOW!! The contractions were less than 2 minutes apart. At this point I was demanding the anesthesioligiost be paged. I had decided pain was over rated and I didn't want any part of it. El Senor kept up his part of the deal and kept talking me down from the crazy place telling me over and over "You can do this!" Dr. O had been in and checked me. I was 6 cm dialated and fully effaced. He said that he could break the waters and things would progress faster. I decided not to go that route. I wanted things to go as naturally as possible.

7:30pm No more! No more I said. I looked into El Senor's eyes between contractions. I clearly stated the following "I know I can do this without the epidural. I'm telling you I don't want to. Please, please get the anesthesiologist here."

8:15pm Ahhhhhhh relief. I had been in labor for 8 hours and finally, the pain was gone. The people with needles are miracle workers. I am sure there is a special place in heaven for them. I felt better, in fact, I felt great. Dr. O came in a checked me again, I was still at 6 cm so he went ahead and broke the waters. No longer in pain I was able to take a nap. Blessed sleep.

10:00pm The nurse came in to check on our progress. I had been sleeping on my left side. I rolled to my back, she said that I was now dialated to 8 cm. As she helped me roll to my right side, suddenly the monitors started beeping (in that scary, your in a bad episode of Grey's kind of way). The nurse's face became very still as she read the monitors. She quickly had me roll back to my left side and stated "We're having this baby now". She called Dr. O and started prepping everything.

El Senor had stepped out of the room for just a minute while all of this happened. He returned to a flurry of activity as people were rushing in and out getting things ready. After everything was calming down I told the nurse "I'm only dialated to an 8...I can't push out a baby!" Yes, she said, you can and you will.

Wow.

The doctor arrived, my legs were up in stirrups and he told me I was fully dialated to a 10 and that the baby's head was crowning. I told him there was no way I could push, I had absolutely no sensation from the epidural. It hadn't had time to wear off at all. He assured me that I could still push. Looking at the monitor they told me when I was having a contraction.

10:30pm Push! Push! Push! She was here! That quickly. One contraction and 3 pushes and our beautiful little girl arrived.

Please help us welcome our beautiful daughter, LizzieBeth.
Born October 20th 2011 at 10:31pm
Weighing 8lbs 4oz and measuring 21 inches

Did I mention the cheeks on this little one?

Happy big sis with the new baby.

Anticipation

2011-10-15T02:32:00.004-04:00

Mentally I was ready to pop this baby out yesterday. Physically my body has been working on that for almost 4 weeks now. At 34 weeks I had to go to the hospital for preterm labor. Since my sis-in-law had recently delivered her little girl at 32 weeks, we were understandably worried.

Thankfully, the early contractions were managed with medication and laying on the couch most of the day. Figure out how that works with an over-active, home-destroying, feed-me-now toddler. At 36 weeks awesome Dr O. took me off the medication and said "What happens now is what happens, the baby is far enough along we won't try to stop labor." So the minimal contractions went right back to being consistent and all day long (when I say all day long, imagine 4-5/hour and you start to get the picture).

Fast forward 2 weeks and still waiting.

Now, now you may be thinking...your poor sister went 41+ weeks before she had her little peanut. It could be much, much worse. Or even, at least you didn't have a baby so early that you had to leave her in the NICU for weeks on end.

And I totally agree.

There are things that are much, much worse (I really, really need to stop doubling up on words to make my point). Anyhoo, back to much, much worse.

There are things that are much worse, and I know it. I'm tossing in the but here.....BUT all I can say is having contractions for weeks on end is not a picnic. Not all of them are painful, but they are tiring. And of course, being largely pregnant there is no rest for the weary. Thankfully there is a silver lining to this little story...well 2 really.

Silver Lining #1
El Bambina still naps in the afternoon.

If I'm exceptionally diligent and run her around all morning she takes a loooonnnngggg nap. Read here, 2-3 hours. Awesome. So I love tucking her into Mama and Daddy's bed where she snuggles down into Daddy's pillow, gets so comfy, then passes out for a good while. This lets me rest. Even if I'm not sleeping I can lay down next to her and just relax with my feet up for a few hours. Lovely.

Silver lining #2
This baby has to make an appearance at some point.

Against popular belief, babies do have to come out. I'm sure all you pregnant women, mothers etc. out there can understand, when you hit about 8 months along, the only question people ask you is "Oh, when are you due? Any day now right?"

Uhhhh.....no. Apparently the masses have missed the most recent memo. Nine months is really 40 weeks. Let's do the math on that one. Ten months people, TEN MONTHS. Please hold the,when are you due question to at least the nine month mark. Believe me, I'm already counting the days, so every time you ask, it just reinforces the fact that yes, I am hugely pregnant. Thanks for the reminder.

So I am now imagining opening flowers, ripe fruit and anything else that has been suggested to me. I had foot reflexology done. I walk. I run after El Bambina (literally run, had to chase her down the road today, through 4 aisles at the grocery store, and sprint across the playground to save her from falling on her head from the monkey bars). I have involved El Senor in the "get baby out" game. So now I work on patience and wait.

With my luck it will be me at 41+ weeks here soon with no baby in sight.

Houdini

2011-10-11T02:41:00.004-04:00

El Bambina is not really a bambina anymore. Unbelievably she is turning 2 this coming Sunday. Parents always say that the time with your children goes by so quickly, and it's true. I hope that it was the "time flies when you are having fun" variety vs. the "I haven't slept in 3 years" kind.

Enlighten me if you so desire.

EB has mastered a few new tricks of late. She has conquered the use of the words mine, no, and self. However, I am sure that she is by far above her peer group since she is able to count to 20, sing the ABC song by herself and is speaking in small sentences. She is also pretty keen on biting children smaller than herself, pushing all others that are bigger and exhibits hair envy by pulling the tresses of anyone that has more of it than she does.

Never fear, it only gets better.

I now think of her as Houdini. She takes off her shoes and pants without help. Has learned the secret of snaps and is constantly taking off her onesies. Oh, she still needs onesies you ask? Yes, because after the onesie layer is removed, off comes the diaper. She has a special run and giggle sequence that tips me off to the diaper removal every time. Then there is the piece de resistance that occured last night. She climbed out of her crib. In the dark.

All I can ask is, what's next?

First Birthday

2011-02-19T02:47:00.005-05:00

I finally got around to developing the baby's first birthday pictures. Yes...I said developed. I am still shooting on good old fashioned film. Living out in the middle of nowhere means I have to make an effort to get things done. Running to WalMart means driving 35 miles (not that I'm processing film there...no, no, no).

So here are her 1st birthday pictures 4 months late. Enjoy!

The Downfall

2011-02-09T16:50:00.004-05:00

There was a time that I liked McDonald's. Not that I ate tehre frequently...but the occasional burger, fries and Coke was known to happen. Until Novemer 24th, 2001. I got a terrible case of food poisoning (is there ever a not a terrible kind?) that completely turned me off of eating there again. I have held true to that vow for over 10 years.

Enter today.

El Bambina has been suffering from a cold since last Friday. Beginning on Sunday she has basically stopped eating anything solid. I'm keeping her hydrated with plenty of water and juice, but being a nuerotic mother comes naturally to me. Today I devised a plan that no 16 month old toddler could possible resist. Chicken McNuggets and fries. She has apparently inherited my anti Mickey D's gene. She ate about 2 fries and 1/2 of a McNugget. Feeling the need not to waste I finished off the rest.

I have to say it may be another 10 years before I break down again and eat there.

2010-08-26T01:08:00.016-04:00

A few weeks ago we went to Salt Lake City to visit family, attend a wedding and for El Senor to meet with some business associates. While we were there we had a great time. El Senor and all the guys played golf non-stop for 3 days in the annual Bowler Open (I'm not making that up). While the men were out sweating on the links, the ladies and I took all the kiddies to Hogle Zoo.

A small tragedy occurred while we were there. No, El Bambina was not eaten by a lion. Somehow I managed to loose my camera. Alright, not really lost. Someone stole my camera. I am still sad that I don't have it around to snap pictures when the baby is being crazy. To make matters worse, I was the only one with a camera that day. So all the fun pictures we had taken of the kids and animals are now in the possession of some jerk that snagged my dinky camera that is only worth anything because it had my pictures on it. So, there is the story. We had fun, but someone else is now enjoying all of our memories (which is actually kind of creepy). So if you happen to see any pictures of the Bambina and myself with a giraffe, let me know where it is. I'm willing to track the thief down on the internet if needs be.

Thankfully I did bring my back up camera on the trip with me. One that uses film. Yeaaahhhh......old school. So were were able to take pictures of some of the other things we did as well as finally taking El Bambina's 9 month pictures. The little one is now 10 months (whoops!). I'm in slow mo when it comes to updating. It usually takes a call from Famous Amos telling me she needs to see pictures, pronto! So, enjoy part of our fun summer and the great vacation we had in SLC.

El Bambina at the July 4th celebration in Logandale.

Ma and Pa Bowler giving my poor arms a break.

El Bambina modeling the post-nap hair we call 'the chicken butt'.

El Senor failed to tell me that I looked like I hadn't slept

for over 2 weeks before he took the above pictures.

Click on this one and check out all of her little chompers, crazy!

All the above are El Babina's 9 month old pictures. We had a great afternoon at Liberty Park. The babe has a new facination with eating anything and everything she can get her little hands on. I have the new facination of watching her eat anything and everything she gets her little hands on. Grass and twigs are her favorite right now.

El Senor, Grampy and Joe looking dapper.

Grandma Tingey, Aunt Anna and El Bambina, pretty as a picture!

All the cousins, pretty in pink.

Remiss. . . or Date the Amazing Tiffany

2010-07-16T18:48:00.009-04:00

So I forget things, a lot. Blame it on the fact that El Bambina is incapable of sleeping through the night. And I'm going with the "through the night" meaning more than a 5 hour stretch. She turned 9 months old today and I'm pretty sure that she hasn't slept in more than a 2 hour increment since birth, but since I am relatively sleep deprived I may not be remembering correctly.You may think this is an exaggeration, but El Senor and my parents are willing to back me up. (Oh, and for the love, do not tell me to let her cry it out. It is possible I will hunt you down and give you a little what-for. And Benadryl? Doesn't even make a dent.) Moving on . . .

So on to why I am remiss. Meet my friend Tiffany.

Yesterday was Date my friend Tiffany Day and I forgot. So here is a little bit about my amazing friend and some linky-links that will help you out with more info.

I met Tiffany during my awesome college days. We were in the same student ward. One Sunday I was wearing a totally hot dress paired with totally hot platform shoes (not the 70's version, but the nifty hessian 90's kind, oh yeaaahhh). So there I was, trying to be reverent and listen to the talks when I looked down the row and saw some chick wearing my shoes. At first I thought, the nerve! Then upon further reflection I realized I needed to talk to the girl with my same great taste.

Here we are years later. Thankfully, we have graduated from college and chunky platforms, moving on to careers, motherhood and stiletto heels. Through the years of friendship with Tiffany there is one thing that I will always remember and be most thankful for. She is loyal. In fact, she is one of the most loyal people I know. On top of this attribute there is also her kick-butt smarts, hot looks and great sense of humor. So, you looking for a hot mama to take on a hot date or know someone who is? Drop me a line and I'll see if you are worthy of this awesome woman.

Your stats:

Age: She is flexible, 26-46 (years not months, she wants a man, not a toddler)

Smarts: Yes, please be smart and not intimidated by an equally intelligent woman

Job: Employment is a must, and don't be scared of a woman that is also successful at what she does

Other: Niceness should really be at the top of this list, Tiffany is funny and unfailingly kind, she is looking for the same in her date

Tiffany stats:

If you are awesome enough and meet the above criteria email me and I'll give you more info

More testimonials to the Amazingness of Tiffany:

Link --------Another Link

2010-07-06T23:57:00.005-04:00

Logandale 1st Ward Garden, picture by Heidi Baker

I haven't dropped off the face of the planet. Although, by some people's measure Logandale is about the edge of the world. I'm typing fast, fast, fast while the little one is asleep for about 5 minutes or so. We've hit a real rough patch with El Bambina sleeping. She has always been sporadic, but the last few weeks have been tough.

El Senor and I are still aclimating to small town life. I'm working on keeping busy and figuring out what to do with my days. EB is a hand full (a very fun handful). She has learned to army crawl and follows me around as I do chores. She is also a little mermaid! We love taking her to the pool in the afternoons. A definate respite in the 100+ heat that we get every day.

Oh, and that picture up there? That is of me at our Ward garden. It is an awesome place and I have really enjoyed weeding then getting to eat the good stuff that comes out of all the work.

I'll hopefully have more pictures and news soon! xoxo BG

Big Baby

2010-05-05T15:10:00.011-04:00

Well, we took the baby to get her 6 month check up. The final decision on my part is that she is getting so big!

It has been such a blessing to be at home with her every day. There have been a few rough times when I look around and try to figure out what I am doing with myself all day. Working full time for the last 10 plus years made me accustomed to the 9-5 gig. Now, apparently, I can do whatever I want, but I work around the clock and my only boss is El Bambina. (Let's be honest with ourselves, there is never a time when the parents are really in charge of the situation.)

I have tried to infiltrate the small town mommy group that meets at the library. Still working that one out. I go to the grocery store and buy one thing for a little break in the day. I take naps with the baby. I plot all day on how to get the baby to sleep better through the night. I check the weather 70 times a day to see if it is cool enough to run in the mornings. That is a small sampling of things that I have concocted to fill up my time. I have found out that large projects right now are out of the question. El Bambina is only capable of taking 45 minute naps, not even enough time for me to watch a full episode of Law and Order. Well, enough about what I'm doing. Sounds like I'm being the big baby.

Without further ado here are the baby stats for El Bambina's 6 month check up:

...............Height...............28 inches.................90th percentile
...............Weight..............18 pounds................50th percentile
...............Head..................17 inches..................25th percentile

It was absolutely amazing to El Senor and I that she has grown almost 4 inches in the last 2 months! Good grief, no wonder she had some grumpy days. She also cut her 2 bottom teeth successfully, they are the cutest things! Those 2 beauties appeared at 4 1/2 months. Just yesterday I noticed that she has also cut one of her top teeth. Soon she will look like a little hillbilly.

Thankfully she is healthy and happy. Enjoy your Cinco de Mayo with a few pictures.

2010-04-26T17:38:00.003-04:00

We have settled in a little here at my parents house in Nevada. Sorry no pictures as of yet. I'm taking them...but our computer is in storage so currently I have no where to download them. Consider this your picture IOU.

I have to say that this time of year in southern Nevada is amazing. Saturday we decided to grill out. Pa Bowler, El Senor and my youngest brother Jefferson headed down to the grocery store for the necessary item...namely, steak, yum! While they were on meat patrol Ma Bowler called my other brother to send out a dinner invite. Then to top it off, yet another brother was on his way to the house to join the feast.

Confused as to how many brothers and sisters I have? Yeah, well sometimes I am too. Here is the role call so we are all straight on the sibling situation.

1. My oldest brother Nate, his wife Lezlee, their 3 daughters and 1 son live in Provo, UT. Nate is awesome, and my SIL is even better. Of course my nieces and nephew are all beautiful (and hopefully well behaved) children.

2. Then there is myself, married to El Senor with our daughter El Bambina.

3. Grant lives close by in Las Vegas. He is 2 years younger than myself. Has a great job, owns a house and is looking for the right woman to help him finish decorating. If you know anyone please feel free to drop me an email.

4. Following Grant is Brent (guess how much fun that was growing up? yell those 2 names out a few times and you will see what I mean.) Brent is married to the lovely Ashley with their darling little girl Ella. I'm still trying to win Ella over, she hasn't seen me since she was just a tiny bean of a baby.

5. Famous Amos and hubby Jody are living the large life in Boston. Amos is almost 10 years younger than me, sometimes I've been called her "other mother" but she is one of my best friends. Although I just saw her after Christmas, I miss her so much. The best part of living in NJ was that we were close to one another. Amos, move back to the west side soon, please???

6. The caboose is Jefferson. It has been so much fun to see him all grown up. He recently served a mission for our Church in TX and has been back in NV going to school. El Bambina loves Jefferson. Ma Bowler calls him the baby whisperer.

There you have it, there are 6 of us total, some married, some with kids, some of us still livida loca. So back to Saturday.

We grilled, we ate, we talked we laughed. It was so good to be surrounded with family again. El Senor and I often commented on how much we missed being close to our families while living in NJ.

Today it was 86 degrees when we ran down to the grocery store to pick up some lunch. El Bambina has been that white trash kid running around in just a onesie without shoes. I have managed to not become total trailer trash and keep her nose clean and change her onesies when she gets food all over the place.

Hubs and I have embraced wearing flip flops and t-shirts everyday. We have not been able to embrace the slower speed limit of a small town and are constantly having to put on the breaks, finding ourselves going 45 in 25 mph zones.

So there you have it. We haven't turned into dust here in the beautiful desert. We're finally getting a little settled and have slowly been acclimating to our new home.

Pictures coming soon.

Pronto! Pronto! Pronto!

2010-03-19T12:08:00.014-04:00

So here is the big news. We're moving. Not down the street. Not to another town. But to Nevada. You heard it here first folks (well some of you are hearing it here for the second time).

Nevada people, Nevada.

El Senor has gotten a great job opportunity and I will get to be home with the babe. How exciting is that? We are so excited to be closer to our family! In the case of some, really, really close. For the first bit Ma and Pa Bowler have been kind enough to let us stay with them, until we can get into our own place.

This is a huge and crazy change. I thought moving to New Jersey from Utah was a biggie. However, I have realized that packing and moving in a 4 week time period with a 5 month old kid and still working full time is huge.

See? I'm exhausted like a little baby in need of a BIG nap.

El Senor was kind enough to remind me that there is nothing that is too big for me to do. He said to me the other day,"Hey, do you remember the time that you went to work, went into labor and then decided to drive yourself to the hospital? You remember that right?? Now that was crazy."

So I am attempting to take one bite of the elephant at a time. We're slowly moving along on packing everything up that will be going with the movers on the 29th of March. How did we collect so much stuff and manage to not to be tripping all over it in our 1 bedroom apartment? I'm pretty sure that there was some magical spell that kept it all hidden. Or maybe I'm just really good at stashing things behind the couch. Probably stashing is the real answer.

El Bambina and I are going to Las Vegas in style, on an aer-o-plane. . . Wooowweeee!!! Let's just say that I can hardly wait to wrangle an over-active baby in a tiny little space for hours on end. Sounds like an awesome time, right?

Any advice you would like to dispense on flying with a baby is gladly received. Unfortunately she is too young for Benadryl. Hmmmm, but I can take it? Perhaps pass it around to my fellow passengers? Instead of putting the baby out of her misery I can help out the rest of us. Alright, adding mass amounts of Benadryl to my packing list.

El Senor and Pa Bowler are driving the 2 cars cross-country. I'm sure that would have been an even more fun adventure with the baby. I'll galdly take flying.

So there you have it. I get to retire from the work force in 1 week and look forward to joining all the brave women that manage the home front. Wish us luck and see you all soon on the West side.

l

***I had a few people ask why they weren't able to comment on the last post. I was afraid someone that had heard the news of our move would make a comment there and I hadn't put in my 2 weeks notice at work. So, I have turned the comments back on for that one. Amos, feel free to tell me again how cute the baby and I look in that picture.

Zero Minutes

2010-03-03T16:31:00.005-05:00

El Senor and I share a family plan for our phones. Most months this works just fine. In fact, if we used the provider that lets you roll your minutes over....we would be swimming in extra minutes. Alas, we use T-mobile and have chatted our way through most of our time this months. So until March 10th, if you feel compelled to give me a call, please do so after 9pm EST. Or at least don't be offended when I send you straight to voice mail and call you back much later.

**What do the pictures have to do with it? Nothing.

Check Up

2010-02-20T15:32:00.006-05:00

El Bambina had her 4 month check up yesterday. She is doing beautifully.

We had a little bit of a rough start to begin the day with. Early in the morning the babe managed to gouge her nose with her uncut nails, I had been waiting for her to go down for a nap so I could take care of them. She proceded to mangle herself before I could clip them. Awesome.

So then I decided to give her a bath before heading to the doctor's. While bathing her I splashed water in her eyes. She flipped out. I got her settled down from that episode, diapered, clothed and fed. She was fussy and heading for a def-con 5 situation. It was an hour before we had to leave, so I just decided to buckle her into the car seat and head out early, hoping a long car ride would put her to sleep.

After she was strapped in, I went to grab my bag. As I went to pick up the car seat, I realized she had already fallen asleep. Nice! Time for me to have a snack and to clip her sharp nails before heading out the door. While snipping her nails I missed her actual nail and clipped the skin on her thumb...enough to make her bleed. And cry some more.

Seriously, get me a prize for being the greatest mom in the world today.

Not waiting for her to continue screaming, I headed out the door. Once she was in the car she went back to sleep. Bonus, now I just had to get myself under control before entering the office. Out of the car, into the waiting room, wait, wait, wait, now in the exam room. Some angel was watching over me, El Bambina had slept through it all.

Now the tricky part, getting her out of the car seat, undressed and examined without a melt down. Let's just say that she took the def-con 5 situation to a whole new level. She cried while being weighed, measured, her ears and eyes being checked, her heart listened to. Everything that was done to her she cried. Our pediatrician is amazing. She was so calm and sweet. When I started crying (partly frustration, partly because I was afraid of the next step, shots) she took the baby in her arms and calmed her down.

Then a quick check in her mouth gave us the answer to all the crying. Poor baby is already teething! Good grief, 4 months old and her gums are all swollen. Dr. C just told me to put us all out of our misery and give her some Tylenol, STAT. I had brought the medicine with me to give to El Bambina right before her shots. It's nice to wait until the baby is weighed, then you can give them the maximum dosage.

Shortly after her check up with the doctor, the nurse came back in with her tray of needles and alcohol wipes. Let's just say that the earlier crying seemed tame after her getting 3 shots and an oral vaccination. So, an 1 hour and 15 minutes later at the doctor's and the little one finally calmed down. Strapped back into her car seat, I managed to get her to drink a few ounces of milk then take her pacifier. I was able to chat with the doctor about a few things then headed home.

So much crying must have been exhausting. The sweet girl was passed out in her car seat for almost 2 hours. That's right little one. . . . just try and sleep it off. I had a little something to eat and squeezed in a nap myself. Once she woke up she seemed fine. Tylenol, I think I might buy some of your stock.

Here are the final stats from our adventure.

......................Stat ...................Percentile
Head..............15.7 inches............19th (now she is a mini head!)
Height............24 3/4 inches .........60th
Weight...........15 lbs 5 oz..............86th (she likes to eat, it seems)

2010-02-16T22:23:00.006-05:00

Our Darling turned 4 months old today. Where has the time gone?

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Blessing Day

2010-02-11T11:47:00.006-05:00

Little El Bambina was blessed on Sunday, sort of. She cried for the entire 30 seconds that she was in the spot light. Although not ideal, it was beautiful.

Famos Amos and Jody had planned on coming but there have been the freak snow storms of the century here on the East coast, so they were not able to make it from Boston. We had several friends that did come for the special occasion, which was lovely since our families are on the other side of the country or were snowed in.

The day was busy, El Senor had meeetings and I was teaching the Gospel Principles class. Not to mention our little lady was not happy to be all gussied up in her long dress. That said, we managed to miss getting pictures of her.

Yesterday, the Garden State experienced some of the crazy snow. With the prediction of tons of snow being dumped on our humble land, many companies closed, mine included. With the extra time at home with El Senor and El Bambina I made up for not getting pictures on Sunday.

Survival and Staples

2010-01-27T15:10:00.005-05:00

So I guess I am one of the fittest....because somehow I am surviving mommyhood and being back at work full time. Honestly, it's not as horrible as I had thought it was going to be. I cried as I left the house the first time all dolled up and wearing my Express pants. And yes, I totally cried in front of my boss that morning. And then I proceded to cry and mess up my perfectly applied mascara any time I was asked how El Bambina was doing the rest of the day.

Day 2? Piece of cake, sort of. I totally hate leaving her at home, but El Senor and the girl are sweet little buddies, so it has at least eased my worries.

Do I miss her? Every minute of the day I am not within 10 square feet of her. Do I hate not being at home full time? Without a doubt. Do I love having a roof over my head? Yes sir! Do I like being able to take the kid to the doctor? No question. So there you have it. The greater need of having a place to live and health insurance currently out weigh my need to smother her with kisses 7,000 times a day. And honestly? I love that my man is having this awesome time with her.

Then onto Staples. So the little one and I ran some errands last night. I needed a few binders for organizational purposes. I had looked online to scout out the best deal. Staples had just what I needed for the least amount of moola. When I arrived at my destination I cut to the chase and just asked one of the employees where I could find the desired item.

Employee: "Oh, we don't carry the Staples binders. . ." she replied.

Me: ..........."Umm, this is Staples? I'm not at Office Depot by mistake?"

Employee: ."We just don't have them in the store."

Seriously? Seriously!?!?! Sorry, but that is just lame, no getting around it. So I left the store without the binders. And as I pulled away I stared hard at the sign that said Staples, just to make sure it really didn't say Office Depot.

Orange Soda

2010-01-05T15:26:00.006-05:00

The highlight of my maternity leave (other than raising El Bambina and getting to be with El Senor every day) has been going to the Costco at least 2 times a week. Yes, the Costco. I love the Costco. As you can tell, I love it so much that it is not just Costco...but the Costco.

Seriously, what can be better than entering the massive doors. There is the requisite greeter-bouncer there to make sure you are welcomed and a member. The exclusivity is also a big draw for me (even if you are the one paying a membership fee to be exclusively wanted). So there you are, greeted or bounced as warranted. Me, I am always greeted since I've been a card holding member since 2001.

I love to stroll through the electronics, dreaming of the day when I can justify buying a big new plasma TV. That day will most likely come if my current TV ever dies (which it wont without the aid of a sledge hammer). Then there is the center clothing section, jeans, coats, swimsuits and more! Books to peruse. Samples to taste. Choices to make! Can we really live another day without 7,000 chocolate cookies in our house? I think not!

Enough with the exclamation points. I really love the Costco in case you already hadn't figured it out. So, El Senor and I went to the Costco today to get a new battery for our '89 Camry. It has sat unused for 2.5 months and a jump did not give the poor thing a start. Since I am returning to work next week, we realized the necessity of having 2 vehicles in working order. The buddy system isn't going to get us both around any more. After purchasing our needed item we strolled El Bambina over to the vending machines. All I wanted was an orange soda for the magical amount of 75 cents but woe-is-be they were sold out!

I decided to move on from my woe. I had Sprite in the fridge at home and that would just have to do.

As we tooled home El Senor suggested we grab a bite of food from Wendy's. While there I automatically ordered a Sprite to go with the combo. With lightening quick thinking, El Senor realized that my orange soda dreams could come true. At the window he asked the nice lady if she could change the beverage to an orange soda. As you can tell, I called her 'the nice lady'. That should clue you into the outcome of this little story. Yes, the nice lady said, just one moment.

Lo and behold I had my orange soda! So the Costco trip was not a failed attempt after all. I will miss my regular visits to the old gal when my working days are taking up all my spare time. Thank goodness that I still have Saturday to commune with the mother ship.

Honey

2009-12-31T13:46:00.005-05:00

I sit here writing with my baby curled up against my chest. There is a wet drool spot on my left shoulder. Sopping through to my skin.

And I love it.

The warm, heavy weight of this little body. Full to the brim with mama's milk. Her nose is pressed firmly into my chest. The soft breath warming my skin next to the cool wet spot.

I inhale her scent.

For some reason she smells like sweet clover honey. Her downy hair tickling the edge of my chin. So relaxed and beautiful. Her long lashes sweeping her smooth cheeks. I never want to set her down.

And I rarely do.

Some day she will be too big to cuddle like this. So I hold her now against my heart. Today, she is still a compact bundle.

Filling my arms with love.

New Year's Resolution

2009-12-29T19:45:00.006-05:00

My New Year's resolution for 2010 is to not have my little, sweet and precious daughter grow up to be a tramp. I took these pictures of the little one during the last few days.

Beautiful and perfect.

Then I got this hideous catalog in the mail for high school prom dresses.

Seriously? You would let your teen-aged daughter dress like a low-end Vegas prostitute? You may as well buy her a pole and some fake boobs. So, with that said, let us all refrain from letting our daughters make a mistake that they might not regret, but you certainly will.

My Husband is Extra Awesome

2009-12-21T02:34:00.005-05:00

El Bambina at 10 days old, and yes, I am that Mom,
letting the kid cry so I can take a picture of it.

The babe has acid reflux. We have a prescription that we give her 3 times a day that has really helped. At our pediatrician's visit last week the doctor told us to call her if it seemed any of the original symptom were returning. El Bambina was diagnosed with the problem when she was about 4 weeks old. Well, now she is a big girl at 2 months (you know that 4 weeks in the life of a baby is about 100 years or so).

The doctor was right, the dosage needs to be changed.

Any sane person would have just asked her to do it at the time she gave us that little tidbit of information. So here I am instead at 2 in the morning waiting for the little darling to finish crying and to settle down for the night. El Senor is dealing with the def-con 5 situation, giving my arms and ears a much needed break. All I can say is that my husband rocks my world and I'm calling the pediatrician at 9am sharp.

Milestone

2009-12-16T18:59:00.012-05:00

First off, I have to ask. Did anyone out there realize that Christmas is next week?!?!? I feel like a missed the memo reminding me to do my Christmas shopping. Apparently raising a baby is an all consuming job.

Right now the Bambina is passed out on the couch. She is 2 months old today, and went in for her first round of immunizations. No fever as of yet, but getting stuck with a needle for 3 shots and 1 given orally is enough to take the mickey out of a grown person...much less a little package like our girl. El Senor is right though, she took it like a champ. I think that I cried and was more upset than she was.

Her growth update is as follows, she now weighs 11lbs 9 ounces, measures out at 23 inches, and her head circumference is 15 inches. This puts her in the 71% for weight, 76% for height, and 40% for head circumference. For the Bowler Girl family members...this means that there is another Little Head that has joined our team. I think the Big Heads are getting out numbered.

Being away from work has been awesome. I like my job, however, being at home and taking care of the little one has been the best job ever. Can you imagine if someone gave you the following job description?

Responsibilities:

Change dirty diapers 7-10 times daily
Change onesies 2-3 times daily due to above blow-outs
Feed baby 8-12 times daily (no set schedule available at this time)
Help crying baby go to sleep 6-8 times daily
Coo nonsense at baby whenever she is awake
Console crying baby (even when you can't figure out what is wrong)
Take screaming baby on car rides at 3am whenever necessary
Be ready to wear your velcro baby at all times
Bath happy baby every 2-3 days, or as blow-outs deem necessary
Be ready to not talk to adults for 3-4 days at a time
Watch hours and hours of terrible daytime TV, since you are wearing the velcro baby and nothing else can get done
Read everything you can Google on how to help your baby be a smart adult
Change your diet to accommodate the needs of your breast-fed baby (no dairy, seriously!?!?!)
Be ready to add words to your daily vocabulary such as 'poops' 'pees' and 'toots' (totally embarrassing mommy talk)
Hold precious sleeping baby in the wee hours of the night

Compensation:

Zero Dollars for the above responsibilities
Eternal rewards, amazing

If someone gave that to me and asked me to do the job I would have told them they were nuts and to check into the closest loony bin. 8 weeks of doing this myself, and all I want to do is have more babies and do it again and again.

I know how glamorous it sounds. Really, who doesn't want to be changing messy diapers and voluntarily be cutting themselves off from the normal adult world? Well, the grass is always greener folks. I have friends that are stay at home moms, and all they want is to go to work. I go to work, and all I want is to stay at home with our sweet babe.

I'm just glad that we have insurance....those claims from the hospital started rolling in and all I could see was red. I'm not even going to get started on my rant about our health care system.

So this post is called "Milestone". I'm sure after all the above rambling you are trying to figure out why. I will tell the rest of the story in pictures.

The Bambina discovers mom and dad's bed
is better than her own crib for sleeping.

First sponge bath at home....waiting for that cord to come off.

First Halloween, looking good in a themed sleeper
and a little stoned, she must of just had some dinner.

Grandpa and Grandma Bowler visit.

Grandpa puts her to sleep like a pro.

No, that's not poop.
Her umbilical cord finally came off after 3 1/2 weeks.

Grandma T. makes her first visit. She was such a great help!

Is she waving? Oh, my!

Hanging out while Dad decorates the Christmas tree.

Just before her shots, so unsuspecting and sweet.

A kiss from Dad for good luck.

Weight, Head Circumference and Height
Sorry again Big Heads!

The after effects of going to the doctor, one tired baby.
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Delicious

2009-11-12T19:49:00.003-05:00

I must say, I think our little darling daughter is pretty delicious. I could just eat her up. Don't you agree? El Senor is absolutely smitten with her. I see a serious problem as she gets older and wants her way. Mom is bound to say no, Dad will be putty in her hands with a quick yes and a kiss. Enjoy the pictures.

Side note: C a rina, am I no longer cool enough for the cool table?

El Bambino Update

2009-10-22T20:40:00.006-04:00

As you may have noticed, the baby countdown calendar stopped last week. El Senor and I are pleased to announce that our little numero uno has arrived! Last week was a flurry. I won't gross you out with all the details, but will give you the basic sequence of events.

Thursday, October 15th:
We went in for our weekly OB visit later in the day. My blood pressure was a higher than what the doctor wanted. After our check up, he told us to go have a good dinner, he felt that the baby would be coming within the next 72 hours. He told us to come in the next morning at 11am so my blood pressure could be reevaluated.

El Senor and I looked at each other and laughed....but felt a little panic creeping in. We still didn't have a car seat.

Following our doctor's advice, we ate that good meal and discussed the possibility of going into labor during the weekend. Saturday our friends were throwing us a baby shower. So we crossed our fingers, hoping that the 72 hour goal of our doctor was a little off. We proceeded to run to the store, grabbing batteries for the camera and a few last minute necessities. Then we called our families, putting them on high alert. Lastly, we headed to the baby store and bought the much needed car seat.

Once at home we looked at each other and nervously laughed some more. El Senor took a few pictures of my belly. I finished packing my hospital bag and we went to bed.

This is my 38 week belly. . .

Friday, October 16th:
3:00am I woke up with a slight back ache. Having insomnia off and on during the pregnancy I simply rolled over and went back to sleep.

7:00am I woke up and felt fine, just very, very pregnant. El Senor got up with me, helped me into the shower and asked what I planned on doing. I told him....going to work of course. I'll meet you at the doctor's at 11am for the follow up.

8:30am I made it to work. I wrote out a to-do list. Going through the list quickly, I realized that I was having some contractions. Not wanting to be the little girl who cried wolf I just quietly kept on working. After all, I was going to see the doctor at 11am....right?

9:30am I realized that the contractions were actually pretty consistent. I let Jack know that I was leaving sooner rather than later. She eyed me and asked if she needed to drive me to the doctor's. I declined and just asked that she keep it on the DL until I was sure I was in labor.

10:00am I contacted El Senor and let him know I was leaving for the doctor's office ASAP and to meet me there.

10:15am I was in the car, driving myself and calling the doctor's office, finding out if I should just head to the hospital. My contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart (consistently) lasting about 15-20 seconds each. I was told just to come to the office for a quick check up. (Sidebar, I know that sounds crazy, but the doctor's office is less than 5 minutes away from the hospital.)

10:45am: I was officially in labor. My doctor had done a quick check, and determined that I should head to the hospital. He was still concerned about my blood pressure being so high and wanted me to be monitored, even during the early stages of labor.

11:15am: El Senor and I entered the labor and delivery floor of the hospital. I was introduced to my L&D nurse, Karen. She was awesome. We were taken to a room, I was put in a hospital gown and we were off to the races.

11:30am - 2:30pm El Senor refers to this time as me being "in the dark place". The onset of my labor was fast and furious. That, or I just didn't notice that I was having contractions until they were at the 2-3 minute mark as I mentioned before. Needless to say, I continued on in the same manner for those first hours. Breathing was all I was capable of doing.

Originally I had wanted to have a natural delivery (aka, no epidural). Once we were going like gang-busters though....I had a quick turn around on the need of pain medication. I also had the complication of pre-eclamsia. I was tied to the bed by IVs, medication and a catheter. Since I wasn't able to move for relief during the contractions, I went with what my friend Laura always told me, "Being in pain isn't going to make you a better mother." With that said, I told Karen I needed an epidural ASAP. She made the goodness happen.

2:30pm-4:30pm This is were the goodness begins. The anesthesiologist had been in. After the long and scary needle was put in (El Senor's words not mine) I had immediate relief. I was still able to move my legs and wiggle my toes. I had good sensation, but the gripping pain was gone. We chatted, I tried to get the nurses to give me snacks and juice (which of course failed miserably), we laughed and El Senor was grateful the dark place was gone.

4:30- 6:00 pm I began to have the urge to push. Karen, El Senor and I began pushing every 15 minutes or so. Resting between several of the contractions. My doctor had been dropping in periodically, and returned to see the progress. Fully dilated to 10cm it was decided it was go-time.

6:15 - 7:27pm Pushing began in earnest. The epidural was dialed back a little, still not feeling pain but having the greater need to push, things continued to progress. It was awesome, like being on an episode of ER. Although a lot of people would be freaked out by having a bunch of strangers down in lady town, I was amazed by how fast everything seemed to be going. Suddenly I could see the head of the baby (yeah, I am one of those who watched the whole thing in a mirror).

7:28pm El Senor was supporting me through each contraction and helping me push like a champ. Under the bright lights of the L&D room I gave one final push before the baby's head emerged. Being told to give one more big push our little baby emerged. Gooey, red and beautiful. Although we did not find out if we expecting a boy or a girl, we strongly felt a little boy was in our near future. How surprised were we when our OB held up our baby and told us it was a little girl!

Please help us welcome our beautiful daughter, El Bambina.
Born October 16th 2009 at 7:28pm
Weighing 6lbs 14oz and measuring 21 inches
Equipped with a beautiful set of pipes

Mom, Dad, and Baby are healthy and happy.
Thanks for all your love and support.

Happy 33

2009-10-06T15:08:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I turned a glorious odd number. I am finally done with 32 and have moved on to 33 for the remainder of 2009. El Senor thinks my odd obsession with odd numbers is funny. Example, if I am running on the treadmill (like that has been happening lately) I would always try to finish on an odd mile, with odd time and odd amount of calories burned. Definitely a little OCD, but I'm willing to embrace the weirdness fully.

Things were pretty low key as far as birthdays went. I woke up, went to work, worked (sort of), had lunch with my girlfriends, went to see a movie with El Senor and then picked up pizza from our local pizzeria. After all that frantic activity, I gave myself the night off and was asleep by 9:30pm.

Wooweeee, control the wild pregnant woman!

I will say that it was exactly what I wanted and, more importantly, what I needed. My favorite part of birthdays is just chatting with family and friends on the phone and getting sweet birthday wishes in the mail. Generally El Senor spoils me rotten . However, we had decided this year that we would keep the birthdays lower key. El Bambino is almost here and really, how many purses does a girl need when wearing your baby is suddenly looking like an awesome winter fashion statement?

Needless to say, El Senor somehow is able to still make me feel like a princess. When we got home from all our extra-curricular activities, I found a lovely stack of books with a card. El Senor said that books will be a necessity in the next bit, and therefore were not a splurge. All I could do was give him a big kiss and agree, as I poured over the back cover synopses of each one.

So thank you dear ones for wishing me well on my special day, because what makes it special are the wonderful people I was able to share it with.

2009-09-28T12:25:00.005-04:00

Clip art from:

That about sums up last week for me. Well, not ever, ever....but it was a pretty great week to say the least.

El Senor and I have been patiently waiting to find out if I would need to deliver the Bambino via c-section. Although not the end of the world, in good old New Jersey it is the end to being able to ever have a natural delivery. The state is so rife with malpractice suits that doctors will rarely, if ever, attempt a VBAC.

Wednesday we went to get another anatomy ultra-sound. The weight and growth of the baby are great, if a little on the large side (El Senor was thrilled about this, you will need to inquire with him directly for his first parental pride moment). The best part, however, was that the placenta has completely cleared from the cervix. Needless to say there was much relief that (unless there is some other unforeseen emergency or complication) we will be able to deliver this little one naturally.

At our follow up, Doc V. agreed with the findings and told me to get my game face on. In a few weeks we will be attempting to push this baby out the good old fashioned way.

So, to all of you who pitched in your fervent prayers, thank you from the bottom of our hearts! I really feel that miracles happen in all ways, shapes and forms. After many months of concern we are relieved that all is well.

xoxoxo BG

Over Due

2009-09-16T21:03:00.008-04:00

Famous Amos has been chastising me. Apparently there is some demand from family members for a picture of my big belly. The one and only picture I have managed to post was from many, many months ago. I have been a very lackadaisical picture taker and poser. It's not that I am holding out . . . just that I really haven't been taking any pictures of much of anything.

Really, most of my efforts have been dedicated to not being tired, registering for the baby (who knew that one would be so difficult) taking naps, cleaning, quilting, taking more naps. . . well you get the picture (pun totally intended).Perhaps I have been avoiding the picture taking of the ever expanding belly real estate.

Which is strange, since I was a photo major in college (I really am not making that one up). One would think that with all that time in the photo studios and darkrooms I would continue to be snap-happy. I like to think that I am just saving it all up for when the bambino is actually born. So, since the consensus is that there should be more pictures, here it is for you dear friends and stalkers alike.

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My 34 week belly in all it's abundent glory.

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Happy Saturday

2009-07-25T12:04:00.002-04:00

Dear Co-workers

2009-07-24T08:33:00.003-04:00

I realize that you are busy and important people. How do I know this? Well, you continually display how busy you are, thus how important you also are, by talking at top volume in my general desk area.

Now, I realize that there are some new things rockin' here at work. You are in a bit of a flurry. I am sorry that the phones/computers/faxes may not be working properly. I am sorry that you feel overwhelmed by all the new clients. All I can say is...who is complaining in this economy about a little more job security? And according to all the conversations that I have recently overheard while you all hold impromptu meetings in my cubicle....you have a lot more job security.

In closing I must say, while intriguing as you may find your new found popular status, it is wearing a little thin. Might I suggest that you schedule a conference room? Or perhaps use one of your many offices with a door to close on it to discuss how busy and important you are? This would be greatly appreciated by myself and all those others who are now being tortured by your everyday crises.

Sincerely,
Bowler Girl

A Lot on My Mind....or be prepared for rambling

2009-07-22T15:39:00.013-04:00

So, it's true, my mind is a junk yard. And that picture up there? It has nothing to do with anything, other than I like it and I took it. With that said, I'm going to start this off with bulleted (is that even a word? I'm too lazy to dictionary.com it to even find out) points.

How many weeks pregnant am I?
Unsuccessfully luring one's parents to stay longer
My brothers, AKA Lamen and Lumuel
Why a C-sectrion is turning into a good thing
Whatever else gets dumped out intothe blog-o-sphere

***I am also putting up belated disclaimer that there will most likely be many Mormon references throughout all this. A likely thing that happens when one has one's very religious family in town. Suddenly you are inundated with all sorts of things you never had thought to speak of in over 5 years.

To begin, I lay in bed last night trying to go to sleep. Of course, the minute I get comforatble each night el Babino-in-utero begins to kick as though its little life depended on it. I was enjoying the strange sensations of rolling, bumping, and shimmying as I snuggled up to El Senor. Everything was fine until my darling husband asked me how many weeks along the baby was. For the life of me I couldn't remember.
-------------------23? 25? 26?
How does one forget this? Well, I couldn't remember, but was just to freaking comfortable to get up and check the calendar to see. Rest assured, I checked first thing this morning. Officially we are 25 weeks and 4 days along the path to birthing this kid.

Onto a completely different subject. My family has started the trek back to the blistering heat and reality of Nevada. The boys flew out Sunday evening and my parents started their cross country drive shortly after dropping them off at the airport. While they were with us here in the Garden State we enjoyed beautiful weather. I tried to lure Pa and Ma Bowler into staying longer with this glorious (and I must say unseasonably good) weather being offered by the East coast. Unfortunately, there were no takers on remaining a few days longer. Apparently, there are newly planted trees that are suffering in the 115 degree heat of Nevada without my parents' eagle eyes to make sure they are being properly watered.

One of the fun things that we did (because there were many) during their visit was to go on a road trip to Palmyra to see the Hill Cumorah Pageant (be prepared for loud music if you click on that link). Somewhere along the line my brother's were having a disagreement and Pa called them "Lamen and Lemuel in the back seat". Now, if you don't know why this is funny, I'll just say sorry. Then, as part of my wanting you to understand even more than the Wiki article will tell you I will kindly refer Mormon missionaries to anyone that would like further explanation. I'm sure that we can arrange for them to come visit you personally if you so desire....just drop me a line in the comments and I'll be sure to hook you up. So yes, now my borthers areforever branded in my mind as Lamen and Lemuel.

Also, I am a hippy. I have always thought that pushing out a baby was just something that I would get to do one day. In fact, if I had my druthers I would do a home birth with a mid-wife. El Senor, on the other hand, has always envisioned our little ones greeting this great big world in the clean, safe and sterile environment that a hospital provides. Well, this time El Senor wins. There has been a slight complication with our pregnancy. Not the end of the world, but one that is making it look more and more likely that I will need a C-section in order to get el Babino into the world safely. Obviously not this hippy's first pick. However, the more I think about it the more I secretly kind of like the idea of all decisions being taken out of my hands. If it has to be done, it has to be done and all that.

So, I guess the summary is that I love my unborn child so much that I can't even remember how far along in the pregnancy I am. I miss Ma and Pa Bowler already. I curse those stupid trees that need watering and Nevada's 115 degree summer heat. Lamen and Lemuel will continue to bicker. It's most likely a good thing that they no longer both live with my parents. And finally, hospitals and C-sections could turn out to be totally awesome. I'll have to report back on the last one I guess. I do promise to keep you updated.

Oh, and if you want to say a little prayer for me so that I can push this baby out in the old fashioned way? Well, I'm OK with that too.

Somewhat Family Related

2009-07-16T12:13:00.017-04:00

I got an IM at work today from El Senor. Pa Bowler had called. The family has decided to forgo the delights of NYC. Pa had declared they were also going to forgo taking showers and would be playing mini-golf and going bowling. Officially the morning is being called "the Stinky Open". El Senor is off enjoying the delights of my family.

On the work front. I thankfully am only working until lunch today, then I am off to the doctor's followed up with plenty of family time.

Doctor...I can already report will not be fun. I get a weekly shot of progesterone to help me along with the pregnancy. I have to tell you, that stuff burns, burns like a mo-fo.

Family...I too will pre-report on this. When I see them it will be great. They will be all hopped up with stories of hole-in-ones and strikes of glory. What can get better than that?

So although my bum will be on fire, I have much to look forward to.

Jack also cannot wait to get rid of me. I wore my hair all amped up and curly today. When I'm rocking the curls, the general rule is I refuse to wear my headset when calling people. I figure if I have destroyed a good portion of the Ozone with all the hair product I used, I owe it to the environment to continue looking good.

Considering I have called 25 different clients today, did not use my headset, and also did not use my regular handset...you can see where this is going. . . .Jack has suffered through me putting 25 some odd calls on speaker phone. Yeah, I am that girl at the office. I suffer, you suffer.

And the hair still looks great.

Visitors

2009-07-15T14:38:00.008-04:00

We have West coast folks with us this week. Through a series of strange events Ma and Pa Bowler showed up at our door yesterday. The trip was planned, the mode of transportation, not so much.

Several weeks ago El Senor spoke with Pa Bowler. It was decided that Ma, Pa, Grant and Jefferson would make the pilgramage to Dirty Jersey. Plans were discussed, dates set, plane tickets purchased.

Fast forward 1 week.

Phone message from Ma Bowler:

Bowler Girl, this is your mother. There has been a little change

in plans. Pa and I are going to be driving from Nevada to New Jersey

instead of flying. Give me a call and I'll fill you in on the details.

Ummmmmmmm..... That is quite a drive to make for a trip that was only planned for 5 days of total face time. After chatting with Ma, it was discovered that after her recent sinus surgery she was not able to fly for a minumum of 3 months. Well then!

Moving forward 3 weeks.

So Ma and Pa left the Silver State on Friday, drove across the beautiful Midwest and arrived in Jersey just yesterday. We were able to visit, eat some food, have a little nap, visit, laugh, laugh some more and just had a great time. Around 11:30pm EST they headed to the airport to retrieve the boys, who had been able to fly across the country in fine style.

----Parent travel time:----4 days----8 hours -----and---21 minutes
----Sibling travel time:----5 hours---13 minutes--and---17 seconds

Currently the family is being toured around the Big Apple by El Senor. I am a slave to my job and am sitting at my desk. Oh wait, no. I just want to save up all the paid vacation days I can for after I have Bambino Numero Uno. I also figured the family would have a better time running around together without the Tired One in tow. All I would have wanted to do was take a bus tour, eat street meat and hail a taxi to take me back to Jersey.

Updates will continue as the mini Bowler reunion carries on. Needless to say, much more food, fun and laughter is bound to be to be reported.

Un-Secret

2009-06-26T14:27:00.008-04:00

So I had a delicious secret for awhile. It was a hard one to keep. Somehow I managed to hide it for 4 months, 2 weeks, 3 days and 1 hour. For that looongggg amount of time I managed not to spill the beans. Well, I'm here to announce to the land of blog that big secret.

For you, gentle reader, I have been gone, gone, gone. In part it is because (as already mentioned) I am not much of a secret keeper. And I figured absence would make the heart grow fonder. It also gave me the ability to keep mum a bit longer. So, for you dear ones I have kept this secret for 5 months, 2 weeks, 4 days and 3 hours. Here it is....

Interesante, no?

Well, maybe a bit more interesting to El Senor and myself than to you. However, we are very, very excited about the growing belly. Baby #1 is safely gestating. My booty is growing, and my cups runneth over (although in the above pic they look a little flat). I have been feeling the baby kicking, and this week El Senor has also felt a few bumps and jabs.

The most common questions I have been asked thus far are as follows, and they may quench your curiosity as well.

Q: When are you due?
A: October 30th (but I'm convinced it will come earlier).

Q:----How are you feeling...any morning sickness?
A:----I hate to disappoint you with no gory details, but there has been no morning sickness. No afternoon sickness. No night sickness. I have had a sick-free pregnancy. (Jealous? well you should be.)

Q:----When do you find out if you are having a boy or a girl?
A:----When the baby is born. (Is this killing you? It's killing everyone else we know too, so get used to it is all I can say.)

Q:----Do you really think wearing heels is a good idea?
A:----You can pry them off my cold dead feet. I plan on putting these beauties up in the stirrups for delivery.

So there you have it, my secret is a secret no more. Does that make it un-secret? That is the question to ponder it seems.

Q & A with Bowlergirl

2009-05-21T16:18:00.005-04:00

So, if you watch The Office you can imagine the following dialogue in the voice of Dwight. If you do not watch The Office, well then, shame on you. This is what El Senor asked me today:

---------ES: Question, would you drive a car if it got 100mpg, no

--------------matter what the design?

---------BG: Most likely yes, I like those hideous little Euro cars

------- -------and they do not get 100mpg.

---------ES: Well, this goes against all you stand for.

---------BG: I'm guessing it's HUGE, so that will be tricky, I must say.

And yes, it does seem to go against all that I stand for. If you want to find out more about the hybrid Hummer go here. I did get the final word however with this comment:

--------BG: I would just paint it green and have a huge sticker on the

--------------huge @$$ bumper that said HYBRID. Or perhaps

--------------Hippy-Tree-Hugger-at-Heart would take care of my guilt.

I think I will go hug a tree right now.

Happy Fierce Friday

2009-04-17T15:03:00.005-04:00

I hope you all are feeling fierce on this fine Friday afternoon!

2009-04-15T11:54:00.006-04:00

Darling,
I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. It was so nice to wake up
and see you snuggled up next to me in bed. Your eyes are always smiling,
even so early in the morning! I love that you give me kisses and hugs
before I run out the door. I even love that you ask me to drive carefully each day...

and because you ask me I really, really, try not to be a maniac on my
way to work. Just thought I would reassure you on that. So, please remember my darling man, you are the sunshine in my soul. I love you with every fiber of my being and hope you are having a wonderful day.

Your always loving,
Wife

2009-04-08T13:59:00.008-04:00

So back in the diz-ay I took a little quiz. That quiz gave me the crazy news that I was most like Ghandi. I must have taken my crazy pill or something that morning.

Azucar got to be Saddam Hussein, which at the time I was completely jealous of. Who doesn't want to be compared to a mad-man-of-mass-destruction? In retrospect, that is a little less great since he met such an unfortunate end.

Today I took that same quiz. Two and a half years later I have apparently shed the beautiful soul, and moved on to the beautiful people. Is this a closer representation of myself? Do I need to begin working on the inner beauty again? Really, increasing my sexual options through my powerful connections is not going to get me far, since I continue to remain a one-man-kinda-lady. Not to mention JFK met his own unfortunate and untimely end.

Interesante, no?

Who is your innner bad a$$?

*Let me know who you most resemble today in the comments section.

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Food Adventure

2009-03-26T10:05:00.005-04:00

El Senor and I were helping a friend on Monday move to a new apartment. I dashed home from work, made us a quick dinner then we headed out to pick up Christine. She has only been in the US for a few weeks, she just moved from South Korea. That said, she did not have much to move, a few boxes and suitcases. This made for one easy trip in the Suby.

Christine had been staying with a friend while looking for another place. She is waiting for all her paper work to be finished up before she can start her new job. Using the trusty Internet she had found a room to rent from a Korean family in the area.

We chatted as we drove to her new temporary home. We arrived, met the family and helped carry her things to her new room. We chatted with the father of the family for a bit. While sitting, sipping apple juice he looked at me and said in his lovely English, "Do you like Korean food?" Let it be known, I have a problem filtering my thoughts. "Yes, everything I've had except Kimchi. I have to say no to Kimchi" To this our newly acquired Korean friends all laughed. Apparently my saying yes to liking Korean food in general, equalled a dinner invite.

Twenty minutes later we were seated with the family at a table loaded with enough food to feed a small army. El Senor was invited to bless the food, then we proceeded to dig in. Carefully each dish was pointed to and described. This is a traditional chicken dish, it is very good. This is just rice, we all eat the rice. A small plate of dried seaweed wrappers, use it to put rice in. A spicy fish noodle, add it to the rice. Kimchi, you should not eat that one. Fried eggs, we like to put it on the rice. Sesame leaves drizzled in oil and spiced with garlic, you wrap rice in it. On and on, each plate described and explained how to eat.

El Senor and I looked clumsy with our forks and knives while everyone else expertly used their tiny silver chop sticks. The conversation flowed between English and Korean. All musical and delicious to my ears as I consumed the strange foods.

As I was carefully eating each item on my plate I realized I was getting very full very fast. Without any warning a little laugh escaped my lips. I covered it with a nervous smile. I realized the reason I was not very hungry was that I had eaten dinner less than an hour before. In our rush to get Christine settled, I had forgotten my earlier dinner. I slowly continued to eat.

I somehow ate most of my food, leaving a few random scraps of rice and unfinished noodles. Thinking I had made it, that I had eaten enough not to offend our hosts I realized I had a bowl of soup sitting next to my plate. Gingerly I spooned up some of the clear broth and green noodles. As I took my first sip, once again I was told what the dish was. This is seaweed soup, it helps to clear the blood of impurities. One sip, pause. Another spoonful with less of the seaweed. Longer pause. Chat, ask about the family. How long have you lived in this house. Third small spoonful, I was unable to chew the seaweed, it went straight down to be digested. I laid my spoon down and tried to look attentive to the conversation.

Dinner finished pleasantly. I was teased that I had eaten so very little. I was told that I should never go on a diet by the skinniest little Korean girl I had ever seen. I was prodded to "Just eat a little more." Which I graciously did. After the meal had concluded El Senor and I were told to visit again, there would always be food for us.

We waved good bye and headed to the Suby. As we closed the doors we looked at each other and laughed a little at how unexpected the whole situation had been. Then I told El Senor "Darling, as much as I don't like Kimchi, seaweed is a hundred times worse in my book." Then we drove home to our little house and I had another glass of apple juice to wash away any remaining taste of seaweed soup.
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In like a Lion, out like a Lamb

2009-03-23T16:05:00.007-04:00

I had to post this before Tiff called her posting hiatus quits and beat me to it. This was such an outrageous occurrence, that it is possible she would have come out of hibernation for it.

Tiff is in town, let that be the preface to this entire story. On Friday I zipped down to the Newark airport to pick her up. She stated that she was starving, and since I've been there and done that we hit a drive-thru. This is shameful for me to admit, we went to McDonalds. I haven't been to a Mickey-Dees since the Food-Poisoning-Incident-of-2001. I will say that I only got a strawberry shake and a sprite. Food avoidance seemed the best option considering my last experience.

Food in hand, we headed for NYC. During rush hour. On a Friday night. Did I mention New York City? After an hour and forty five minutes we finally pulled up to the hotel. We gave the valet the Suby (I know, classy right?) and headed to check in. While standing in line I realized that I had left my phone in the car. I headed back to the valet service, waited for 10 minutes while they located my car, brought it up to the 1st level of underground parking then walked down to the 1st level of underground parking to retrieve the phone. At least it was in the car, had I found it in my purse while waiting I would have really felt like a dumb#$%.

Phone located, problem solved.

Next came the room. I'm sure Tiff will have much to say on this subject, all I will say is we are pretty sure that it was a converted janitor's closet (it was that small). Next on the list was the concierge that gave bad directions, very, very, bad directions. We proceeded to be 45 minutes late for our dinner reservation. On the plus side, the restaurant and food were excellent. I had amazing cheese and spinach ravioli in a sage-butter sauce. Yum.

After dinner we strolled back to the closet, ahem...hotel. We visited with a different woman at the concierge desk and asked for a nice place to listen to music and get some dessert. Enter the cab-driver-from-the-other-side-of-the-world, perhaps even from the underworld. This is where I would also like to interject, if you are cab driver in NYC and it's the first day of Spring, consider yourself fore-warned. Perhaps not so well fore-armed.

Tiff and I climbed in the cab. As we piled in we asked the driver, "Do you accept credit cards? We don't have cash." When he said yes, we proceeded to hand the little-man-in-a-turban the address of the place written down on a piece of paper. Easy, no? No miscommunication, no room for things to get lost in translation. Oh, ho I say! I thought for sure I was going to die or toss my delicious raviolis on that Mad-Hatter of a cab ride. Not pleasant.

We finally ended up in the general vicinity of where the lounge was supposed to be. Finally we asked the driver to pull over, we were close enough. Just as Tiff was ready to swipe her card the cabbie clicked the pay-out button. "No card!" he said. Ummmm, the first thing we asked when getting in the cab was "Do you accept credit cards? " Let's review. Is there really any way that can be misinterpreted? Apparently. The next section of this is highly embarrassing for me. As Ma Bowler would say "Bowlergirl, you are really loosing your cool." I think that Ma Bowler might have even put me in a permanent timeout.

So there you have it. I went from trying not to loose my dinner to loosing my temper in less than point two seconds. I yelled at the-little-man-in-a-turban. I said some very bad words. I screamed that I wasn't a stupid tourist to be taken for a ride (I failed to mention that he circled the block several times....like we wouldn't notice). I proceeded to rant that there was no way we were paying him in cash since we had none. He responded with "Go to the ATM across the road." That did it. I yelled some more. I was calling the cops, this was ridiculous, I was calling the cab commissioner.... Tiff was kicking my sorry mean butt out of the car. She did what my mother would have done in that situation. She gave me a much needed timeout.

I stood fuming on the sidewalk while Tiff rationally dealt with the situation. Got some cash. Negotiated the $13 down to $5. Then walked away like a calm woman. Not like the mad woman that was still standing in an angry rage on the sidewalk (in case you lost track of the situation, I was the angry raging one standing on the sidewalk). Now we realized we were lost. The cabbie had sped away from the Banshee post-haste, leaving with the address of the lounge. We were somewhere in the Village, with no idea where to go.

First stop for Tiff, bathroom. This involved a Duane Reade, a bottle of water, some Skittles and Rollo's. Second stop, another street corner and another cab hailed. The entire time I had my arm out I feared that Karma was going to bite my sorry butt and send the same driver to pick us up again. Somehow we dodged that bullet and a very nice, not crazed, not miscommunicating driver picked us up. Third stop, movie theater in Time Square.

Here Tiff and I watched a terrible movie. Terrible, terrible. However, we decided amongst or two-selves that it was a much needed diversion. So there ended our adventurous evening. The first day of Spring came in a truly vengeful style. Hopefully the month of March will hold true to the saying, "In like a Lion, out like a Lamb". There was already one lion in the city this last week. I'm hoping it will be the last.

Impulse Buying

2009-03-17T14:42:00.004-04:00

We all do it. Impulse buying is about as American as apple pie. While standing there in the check out line, you might think "Hmmm, I need those mints, I haven't brushed my teeth for the last 15 minutes and I wouldn't want to offend anyone with my stinky breath." Or perhaps it's the sensational mag that you can't resist. "Really, the news is just important. I should really be current on what is going on with Tom and Katie."

Realistically we know, there is a reason these are considered impulse buys. The little things not on our grocery lists yet somehow manage to make it onto the conveyor belt and into our grocery bags to be taken guiltily home. I confess that I impulse buy. Next confession, I had a severe case of the weird impulse and non-returnable buys this weekend. Thankfully I didn't suffer too badly from buyer's remorse.

Case study #1, the NYC hot dog.
I went to the temple in the city on Saturday. By the time the session was done I was ravenous. Seriously , I thought my stomach was eating itself. I was with several women from my Branch since we had driven in together. They took their time getting dressed in their street clothes, then they needed to go to the Distribution Center to buy a few things. I let them know I was going to just step out and grab myself something to drink. I felt a little ashamed that what I really wanted was a hot dog. There is nothing quite so good as a little NYC street meat.

I made my guilty purchase, and added a orange soda to cover my little lie. I stood out in the city sunshine and savored that hot dog. It was so good. I then returned indoors to wait for my friends to finish their purchases. While sitting there I thought, "Wow, I could really go for another hot dog." As soon as the ladies and I rejoined forces I casually said...."Hey, does anyone want to stop by the hot dog stand?" Stopping by really meant walking out the door, turning left and moving 10 feet to the corner where the cart was situated.

Case study #2, another NYC hot dog.
Everyone was in agreement that this was a good idea. So there it is, I made a second impulse hot dog buy in less than 15 minutes. I was just grateful that the vendor did not give up my guilty secret. Although she definitely had a twinkle in her eye as I asked for a hot dog with mustard and ketchup

After we returned to Jersey I had another impulse. It was time to cut my hair. Waiting was not going to do at all. As soon as I departed my current company I made a beeline for my local barber shop/salon (that is a whole different story). When I arrived, the shop was closing up and to my dismay the lady that regularly cuts my hair doesn't even work there anymore. I was desperate, I felt my eyes prick with tears as I desperately tried to figure out where I could get my locks taken care of. Answer below.

Case study # 3, Patty's Place.
As I drove myself home I passed a local beauty shop that I had seen and perhaps even mocked. I decided to roll the dice and take my chances. I parked the car, pulled myself together (no place for tears I say!) and strode into Patty's Place. I was somewhat unsure if I was mistaken and was actually entering the local biker's bar.

The door swung open and I entered the safe haven of the beauty shop. Do not think that this place in any way resembled a salon. I'm calling it what it is, your mama's beauty parlor. I had found the local watering hole for all the blue-hairs. One of the lady's looked confused, surprised and a little shocked. I just blurted out "Can someone cut my hair?" The confused one was Patty herself. She replied with "Sure, you just want me to follow your same cut, or something different? I think I can feather your bangs like that." Feather your bangs like that should have been the tip off.

Impulse still running strong I replied, "That is exactly what I want." Somehow I managed to leave the place of beauty without looking 80 years old. Not that there is anything wrong with the blue-hairs, but I prefer my youthful age for now. My cut did look a little bit like a bowl cut gone right, but that was nothing a few minutes with my flat-iron and some wax wasn't able to fix.

So there you have it. Impulse buying at its best. For approximately $20 I ate 2 hot dogs, an orange soda and got my hair did at the local beauty parlor. Would I do it again? In a New York City minute.

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Izze vs. Other Fizze

2009-03-13T14:11:00.005-04:00

I had an odd craving today. I wanted me some Izze Soda Pop. Everyone at work kept asking me if it was a mid-western thing to call it a Soda Pop. I just said "You know, the only thing I ever hear people call an Izze is a Soda Pop" (yes with the implied capitalization). Am I wrong here? Perhaps I have really crossed over into the land of the crazies. Moving on. I wanted an Izze and I was gonna have me an Izze.

Until I got to the grocery store, where they no longer stock Izze Soda Pop. What the *!#@@#* (insert your choice of expletive here, I might have uttered more than just one as I laid down in the aisle and had a temper tantrum). Moving on yet again.

Enter Lorina. **

Now, I will not say that Miss French Lorina is an Izze Soda Pop. However, it did hit the spot, and I will even go so far as to say delicious (none of that abrreviated delish crap) full on Deeellliiicciiouuus. In fact, as I took the last sip of my beverage I might have been heard to say,

"Do you think they sell this stuff by the gallon?"

Well, if any of you know of where I can get Miss Lorina by the gallon please let me know. I am already jonesing for another fix.

**I love that I'm lame enough to link to a website all in French.
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2009-03-09T16:57:00.004-04:00

Because I like free stuff and Abe Lincoln. Don't we all?

Baggu Grosgrain Guest GIVEAWAY!!!!

A Lovely Wedding

2009-02-17T19:51:00.005-05:00

El Senor was recently made Branch President of our little congregation. I often call our branch little, mainly because it is much smaller than what I grew up with in Logandale. Little is relative. I love our diverse group of friends from church. Living in New Jersey has been an honest eye opener (I almost typed in honest eye popper, which is maybe a better description of the case).

I rarely discuss religion here, just in passing. But I find myself more focused on the divine. Blessings have been poured out upon us the last 12 months. My dear friend Jack laughingly tells me that "I found myself some religion". Yes, yes I have.

Finding myself immersed in the well being of my church family has made me joyful. Losing myself in service a truly wonderous event. This last Saturday, yes Valentine's Day, El Senor was able to marry a lovely couple. What a tender time, surrounded by friends and family members as two people were joined together.

As I watched my handsome and dashing husband counsel and wed the couple, I reflected on my own good fortune. I realized that the blessings I have been given have nothing to do with being fortunate, and everything to do with my Heavenly Father. Living this life, helping the ones around me strive for better things, being blessed by those who serve around me. How truly blessed I am in my lovely life.

Beloved Chapel

2009-02-04T21:57:00.014-05:00

I have sad news.

The beloved chapel in my home town of Logandale, Nevada burned down this morning. There is so much history involved with this building. It was not completely lovely. There were many shades of ugly orange carpet throughout the years. But this was the place that has housed the hearts and souls of the people.

I remember so many wonderful events. Babies have been blessed under its roof, baptisms of young and old, weddings, social gatherings, funerals. I remember spending many days of my youth running through the cultural hall. Whispering secrets to my friends through the heavy red curtains on the stage. My own baptism and confirmation. Hours playing under the quilts while our mothers created warmth for those in need. Giving my first talk at the pulpit. Sustaining my father as Bishop.

This is the chapel that my Grandpa Bowler championed. The place built from the sweat of the Saints' brows. All was given to build this place of worship.

Time. Money. Will. Strength.

The things I learned in my youth were under the kind eaves of this beloved building. El Senore said to me as I cried, "Honey, your Grandpa would have burnt it down himself if he thought that a Stake Center would be built in its place." And I know that he is right. My Grandpa had such a vision for the lovely Valley of Logandale.

Grandeur in a small place.

It's often hard for me to let go of the things in my past. I think that this building has represented so much of who I am and where I came from. I have to believe that there are still pieces of those memories, a whisper of my childhood past still there under the burning blue skies of my Valley.
My Grandpa's spirit still gleaming brightly there in the remaining beams. That the Saints who sacrificed, shaped the bricks by hand and baked them under the scorching Nevada sun will always be remembered.

Although the building is now just a shell, the spirit of those who have passed through the halls will continue on.

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Pass me a Coke and Feel the Love

2009-02-04T13:57:00.013-05:00

I have always been a Coke drinker. My Dad was avid about having a cold Coke on a hot day. I have followed in his steps. As I have grown, I have scaled back the caffeine consumption. In fact, I try to drink carbonated beverages as little as possible. Today was the exception.

After a morning on the phone, dealing with terrible clients, I had the desperate urge to drink. Well, a Coke at least. I am a booze-free kinda gal, so I need to pick my vices carefully. 12:30 rolled around and I declared to all who would listen...

I am going to lunch, and I am drinking a Coke.

Let me tell you, there were some audible gasps to this announcement. So today I pronounce my love of the occasional Coke.

Pass me a Coke, I say, and feel the Love.

A Month of Love

2009-02-01T22:55:00.012-05:00

Simply because I am in love with my darling El Senor.

My Love is like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June.
My love is like a melody
That's sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lad,
So deep in love am I.
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Til a' the seas gang dry.

Til a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi; the sun.
And will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare the weel, my only love,
And fare the weel a while!
And I will come again, my love,
Thou' it were ten thousand mile.

.......................................-Robert Burns

I took a tiny liberty with the poem, since I
am in love with a boy, he is my lad instead of a lass.
Although I do believe he is quite
lovely and bonnie as described in these verses.
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Dirty Jersey Style

2009-01-19T10:08:00.018-05:00

I realized today how much of a Jersey girl I have become. I swore up and down that it was West coast style or bust. I have tried to maintain my laid back coolness, managed my road rage and still wear flip-flops whenever possible. The important things seem to have remained in good order.

Other things seem to be slipping, some even falling to the way side.

I ate an onion roll for breakfast today, and I liked it.
Instead of standing in line (as you do on the West Side) I've been standing on-line for the last 4 years (who came up with that.... and why am I saying it?)
We like going down the shore. When we first moved here we liked to drive to the beach.

These are only a few samples of what has changed.

Savory food in the morning is awesome, I will say that. I have always been more of a breakfast for dinner girl, my system needs a little wake up time before slurping down something with syrup or grease. Pumpernickle bagels are also a morning favorite, yum.

The on-line thing kills me. I had been diligent in sticking with "Getting in line" or perhaps "Standing in line" . . . .but somehow the lingual integrity is being compromised.

Severely, severely compromised.

Lastly, the shore. The Jersey Shore is famous, if you didn't already know. I think part of the reason it's famous is because you get to speak like an idiot. If you were already an idiot, this is great. If you are not an idiot but are willing to check out for a few days, even better.

So let's all be idiots and go down the Shore this summer. Once we get there we can stand on-line together for onion rolls and pumpernickle bagels.

2009-01-16T21:31:00.009-05:00

How has the comfortable become uncomfortable?
I have lived in my cozy little abode for almost 5 years, yet after one small suggestion from El Senor I am ready to pack it up and move along.
What suggestion, you may ask? What could possibly drag you away from the hardwood floors, large windows, high ceilings, walk-in-closets
(yes that is plural as in 2 walk-in-closets in a 1 bedroom apartment)
and most importantly (more important than walk-ins you say??)
a washer and dryer?

What could pull me away from my wonderful domain?

The idea of owning my own house.

No more landlords, upstairs neighbors and noise.
A little slice of silence is all I am looking for at this point.
El Senor simply mentioned the idea one day.
I am like a dog with a bone.
All I want now is to start looking, looking, looking.
Maybe that is all I need to realize that what I have is all I need?
We will see.

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Retrospective

2009-01-12T10:42:00.003-05:00

El Senor Winter 2006

Don't Judge Me

2009-01-07T13:39:00.007-05:00

A funny thing happened. On Sunday during Church one of the little old ladies got up to bear her testimony. Now in my religion, once a month we fast for 2 meals and give the money that we save from not eating to help others who are in need...of well, whatever help is needed. So, going along with this fasting the members of the congregation have the opportunity to take a few minutes at the pulpit to express their thankfulness and belief in Christ. Rewinding to the little old lady.

El Senor and I refer to her as East Coast Grammy, because she reminds us of our Grammy back in Utah. Soooooo.......ECG got up to the pulpit and in her lovely Jamaican accent spoke for several minutes. Sometimes I get so distracted by how people speak that I don't actually hear what they are saying. This is often the case, I must admit. As I was drifting, imagining warm water, sandy beaches and palm trees swaying in the breeze, my reverie was interrupted as ECG abruptly ended what she was saying with,

......"So, what Iya ama sayin' is, donta be steppin' on mya foot! Amen."

What, what did I miss? I looked up at El Senor on the stand with wide eyes. My goodness, where was the thankfulness, and the love of trees, babies and all things holy? Not at that pulpit I say!

So, that is the catalyst of this. Earlier Tiff called and left me a message. Some of the personal info I won't divulge, not because I care, but Tiff might kill me if I put all her waxing issues out on the internet. Enough said. The end of the message went like this.

.........."BG, I'm telling you this because I know you won't judge me."

Ummmmm, really? Am I the right person for this? I am a total judger. And an ageist. Oh, and according to someone in the mid-west who is a total hater also a communist.

This also reminded me of another thing that occurred at Church. As in the aforementioned "Fast Sunday" story, this happened on Fast Sunday (as it is called at our casa). I was in the church library getting some materials for a lesson I was teaching later in the day. El Senor and I were chatting as I found pictures. As I was digging in my bag I found some tic-tacs. Just as I was popping 2 of them in my mouth someone walked into the room and said..."Uhhh, it's Fast Sunday you know....." as the sentence trailed off I snapped back, "I don't judge how you fast." Which is a total lie. So now I'm going to tell you another story about Fast Sunday.

One lovely Fast Sunday during the summer I was actually early to church. Most likely because I needed to get out of the house and away from the temptation of the fridge. As I pulled into the parking lot I saw a 2 members chatting outside. One of the women was eating a yogurt. Well, I said to myself, I see how it is with her. Of course I had to report the infraction to El Senor. He then in turn set me straight. Apparently the unrighteous woman I was tattling on is diabetic. People with medical conditions and pregnant women are excused from the need of fasting. In fact all fasting is completely voluntary.

So the moral of this story. I did not judge Tiff and the waxing issue. However, I am completely willing to judge your testimony, your eating habits and your right to call me a communist.

Amen.

Weather Watch

2008-12-31T12:30:00.006-05:00

I am a self-proclaimed desert rat. Give me a hot sun and blistering heat radiating up from the blazing pavement and I am haaaaapppppyyy !!!!

There has been a strange development the last few years. I love me some snow. The more the better. I like watching it fall. I like shoveling it. I love making snowballs and snowmen. Snow angels are a must. I adore driving in it. Tearing around in the sweet Subu is the best winter treat. Of course there is the cozy aspect as well. All bundled up in a fleece robe, watching it drift down from the white skies, sipping a delicious hot chocolate.

The anticipation of snow each year makes me so happy. While living in Utah, snow was guaranteed. Blankets of it all winter long. East Coast living is a little bit more hit and miss. In late October I fervently begin singing "Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!" That is the one Christmas song caveat I allow myself before December. The song is similar to a rain dance for me. If I sing it long and loud enough it must snow!

And it has snowed!

.

Hey Tiffany

2008-12-02T11:13:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to let you know Tiff, it's 11:11!

Update

2008-12-01T14:57:00.002-05:00

I needed to take a quick trip to visit the Mother Ship while at lunch. Just a few odds and ends to pick up. I was at the register ready to pay when the place was invaded by a hoard of blue-hairs. Feel free to call me an ageist, because its true. I hastily swiped my card, crammed my purchases into my bag and beat a quick retreat out the door.

As I came up to my beautifully, clean, white Suby, to my horror I saw that she was clean no more. I broke down and had the car washed and vacuumed by the professionals last week. The state of my car had become truly reprehensible. After putting it off for more than 9 months (El Senor thinks it was closer to 13) I had the car shined to a high gloss. The gloss is now gone, there are leaves and muck all over the exterior. At least the inside is still clean.

Blue-hairs!

What's in a Cook

2008-11-26T23:31:00.002-05:00

We were kindly invited to our friend's this year for Thanksgiving. In the past El Senor and I have celebrated this holiday in true style, wearing our pajamas, watching football, and finally trying to eat food that was cooked with an entire army in mind.

I am grateful that I figured out how to scale back this year (please note the entire amount of sarcasm here). Becca simply asked that I bring a vegetable and maybe a traditional favorite that my family enjoys. Somehow my 2 things have multiplied. Seriously, it seems like the sides are having babies in the kitchen, there is no controlling it. Here is where I am at now with my 2 sides:

Spaghetti Squash (roasted, buttered, peppered, salted and delicious)
Sweet Potato Pie topped with Marshmallows
Pecan Pie
Pumpkin Pie
Pomegranate Salad (never heard of this one before? you have no idea what you are missing...no idea I say!)

I have also started to brine a small turkey breast. Oh, and then there is the cranberry sauce that I couldn't live without (not the crap from a can, but the real homemade deal, slightly seasoned with some freshly grated ginger). Are you salivating yet?

The beauty of being invited to someone else's place? No clean up in the kitchen. The downside of spending Thanksgiving away from home? No leftovers. The Bowler Girl solution? Make enough at home so you can still have leftovers later. Oh, and make your own turkey so you can have sandwiches, soup, turkey salad, well. . . turkey everything for at least another 3-4 days.

Because really folks, other than spending time with the ones you love, leftovers are a real priority.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T19:14:00.005-05:00

A little introspection seemed in order today. For those of you who don't know me, and it may even suprise some of you who do know me . . . . I am a planner.

Azucar once said something so funny that I still laugh about it on occasion with El Senor. She told C Jane during a brief meeting that "Bowler Girl is a little bit like Mother Earth". I have also been known to describe myself as a hippy, tree hugger, and recycling Nazi* on a regular basis. How does all this relate back to my planning mode? Well there is the crux of the matter.

I really do tend to over plan everything in my life, but I also battle the need to embrace my inner mother earth. I have learned the last few weeks that I cannot control the universe. I know I have this epiphany on a pretty regular basis. Yet, it always seems unexpected when it pops up again. So today I am trying to reflect on the inner woman. What can she do to let the universe know that she is aware and even grateful that she does not control all?

First, I must give thanks.
When it seems least likely that there will be kindness, that is when most charity is given. Although we each have our personal struggles I have found that people often sense another's need, even if it is not spoken. I have been most grateful to the unflagging love and kindness of those around me the last several weeks.

Second, be selfless.
As much as I have wanted to sit at home and be sad, sad, sad . . . . I decided instead to serve, serve, serve. What a blessing it is to help others. When my own situation seems uncontrollable, it is always nice to see that someone else can still benifit from my need to be doing something at all times. It is always difficult for me to sit idly when there is something that needs to get done. Somehow that ends up helping me and someone else.

Third, be even more grateful.
Learning an attitude of gratitude is a constant process. Slowly I am trying to learn that even during hardships and trials that there are still things to give thanks for. Truly, deeply grateful. There are many things that make life hard. Learning that focusing on the difficult things only makes it more difficult is a true test of faith. Being able to simply say 'thank you" to those who have made my day a little easier has helped me tap into that inner well-spring of gratitude.

I am truly beginning to realize that not all will go according to my plan. The best part of this? I know that even though I may not be in control, that there is someone else watching over me. There is direction in my life even when I may feel like I don't have a firm grip on the directions. Thankfully, someone else has a hold of the compass for me.

*This is what my co-workers call me. I have been know to dig
office paper and soda cans out of garbages if the need arises.

.

2008-11-18T15:55:00.005-05:00

My Darling Husband,

I know that I have been sick. And sad.

You have been patient. And kind.

Thank you for being the wonderful man that you are.

I would give you 12 dozen red roses, but I know you prefer daisies.

Sincerely, Your loving Wife

Open up and say ahhhhh....

2008-11-08T23:28:00.008-05:00

Tuesday I woke up and my throat hurt. I blamed the change in weather.

Wednesday, still in pain. Bought a gallon of OJ and drank the entire thing while at work.

Thursday, trouble swallowing and eating. Drank more OJ, took my vitamins and complained.

Friday, more pain. Decided a Dunkin' Donuts hot chocolate was the only solution.

Lunch, any one hear pain? Barely able to swallow the pizza from my favorite pizza joint in town.
2 o'clock, seriously thinking that I need pills of some sort to dull the pain.
3 o'clock, can I go home yet? Really, I want to go home.
4 o'clock, break down & pathetically call the doctor's office, they can squeeze me in.
5 o'clock, madlly battling traffic in order to make my 5:15 appointment.
5:30pm, patiently waiting.
5:45, still waiting.
6 o'clock, "The doctor will see you Bowler Girl" (Yay, somehow the patience paid off!)

My blood pressure, temperature and pulse are taken. Hello people, nothing is wrong with me except my throat hurts. Wait, crap....now the nurse is taking a swab of my throat. If it didn't hurt before, it would now. The doctor finally enters. Listens to my heart, seriously, my throat hurts. Looks in my ears, not there either buddy.

Finally, finally!!! He looks in my mouth and says...
"Well, my dear, it looks like you have strep."

All I can say is, wow.

2008-11-04T22:18:00.009-05:00

El Senor was able to capture the today's anticipation far better than I ever could. So I have a guest blogger here in my charming life. Thank you my darling for expressing your feelings on this momentous day.

I woke up abruptly. I glanced at the clock; it showed a few minutes before 6am. My mind still half asleep pondered the erratic dreams of the night. My rest had been agitated by my desire for morning to come. It was finally here. This morning, two years in the making.

I slipped on a sweatshirt, jeans and some old running shoes. With my wife, in a hoodie and sweatpants, I moved toward the door. We emerged outside; the tree's dark limbs were more visible today. Their large crimson leaves dangled motionless in the cool damp air. The silence of the morning was eerily quiet for such an occasion. The air felt heavy around us as we briskly walked hand in hand to the polling place.

Soon, we entered into the well lit gymnasium. It was filled with people. They too had just awoke, some still in pajamas. Most people were standing in line, others milling around and many in deep contemplation. The beeping sound of votes being entered seemed to drown out the hum of the crowd. We moved quickly to our respective line. Not many words were spoken. I fumbled the pen in my hand as I signed my name, took my ticket and moved toward the back of the gym.

There was no going back now. A decision had to be made.

The finality of this multi-year campaign became very real in my mind. My eyes stayed sharply focused on the peculiarly shaped electric booths. Our line was short; this feels too quick, did I need more time? Was I really ready? A beep sounded, I knew it was now my turn, my time was up.

With a smile I took a deep breath and stepped forward into the booth and by doing so into a new tomorrow.

Debate Intermission

2008-10-02T21:33:00.010-04:00

In case you have been hibernating somewhere and didn't know, this is an election year in the good old US of A. Tonight is the debate between the vice-presidential candidates. Let's hope that there is a little more information given than the drivel that has been aired by Katie Couric the last week. Most of all I would just like to say, everyone should vote. I don't care if you're candidate is not my candidate (well mostly don't care). However I do have a staunch policy of my own to put out there.

If you DO NOT vote (by choice) ,
you DO NOT have the right to complain about anything until the next election and you DO get your act together and visit the voting booth.

And this is something I seriously just heard two guys yelling at each other on the street (note that it is almost 10pm here).

Dude1: If you don't vote for Obama you are a dumb (ex$pletiv!es)!!!!

Dude2: I can't vote, I'm not registered.

Dude1: Well get yourself registered then and vote!

All I can say is, if these two geniuses can figure that one out, we should all be able to.

Optimism

2008-10-01T13:42:00.003-04:00

Today I sit at home feeling ill and yet somewhat optimistic. I woke in the early hours with that terrible pull low in my tummy. I have always been susceptible to UTI's, those lovely little infections that will lay a girl so low. At first all I wanted was a big glass of cranberry juice, but somehow the ready supply in the fridge had been exhausted.

Since in the wee hours I was not willing to trek to the store, I went for the not so natural way of fixing the issue and popped an antibiotic. Several hours later, many glasses of water and futile trips to the loo, I am finally on the mend. El Senor was good enough to replenish the much needed bottles of cran juice.

Another bit of optimistic news. My good friend Jack from work made this comment yesterday, "Well, maybe since CitiGroup has taken over Wachovia the bill for my credit card will get lost!" Ahhhh....the lovely thought of financial obligations fading into the ether. Maybe a fervent prayer that this bail out mess will get resolved would be just as productive as trying to wish away my bills.

So, cheers to you on this lovely autumn day! I am off to have another glass of my magical juice.

Skissors Scissors

2008-09-20T01:13:00.003-04:00

It is late Friday night. I can not find any of my scissors.
I have numerous pairs but none are to be found. I think that the same elves that "borrow" my measuring tape, seam rippers and safety pins must also be holding my scissors hostage.

However, the elves are either unwilling or unaware that they
need to negotiate the return of said items if they want said reward.

Just so they know, I'm willing to pay them off.

Take me out to the Yankees!

2008-09-15T16:46:00.023-04:00

El Senor and I were able to go to a Yankees game last weekend. Through various means, much praying that the rain would stop and a miraculous subway ride later, we arrived at the house that Ruth built. Here are a few snippets of what you would have seen or heard if you were sitting with us.
You would have heard this . . .

Small boy yelling "I neeeed a fly ball Dad...I just need a FLY BALL!"

Smaller boy replies with: "I need a hotdog Dad, I just neeeed a HOTDOG!"

(Dad apparently was unable to hear these heartfelt please of his boys)

Angry Yankee yelling at sad Devils fan:

" Go back to the hurricane in Tampa!"

(seriously heard that)

My favorite part of the game is the 7th Inning Stetch. Ma Bowler once told me this (and she might not even remember, but I do!) . . . She is convinced that ballparks have organ music and singing because the wives got bored watching their husbands run around the bases. I embrace the music and sing at the top of my lungs during "Take me Out to the Ballgame" (true story).

Here are a few things you might see . . . . .

Well, of course you would see me and El Senor in our Yankee caps.

Lots and lots of peanut shells....

The beautiful green grass!

More entertainment for me, songs only get a girl so far.

And then my very favorite,
the birthday boy.
El Senor turned 29 on the 14th.
Happy birthday my sweet darling, you make my days bright!

***P.S. We never did get a fly ball like that poor kid wanted,
and I don't think his brother got the hotdog he wanted either.

Milestone

2008-09-09T14:50:00.005-04:00

In early August El Senor and I took a trip to Nevada to visit family. While trying to survive the blasted heat of the region I was also trying to be diligent and keep up my regular exercise routine. One evening while out running I pulled a muscle in my left calf. It was excrutiating. El Senor had accompanied me on this run, but had the common sense to be lazily pedaling on one of my parent's bikes.

At the time of the injury we were several miles from the house. I thought walking it off would suffice, my sweet hubby offered to give me a lift on the handlebars. I vetoed that, wishing that the old cruiser had something as cool as pegs to stand on. Needless to say I sadly limped myself home.

Here I am 4 weeks later. I was on a forced leave of absence from the treadmill for 2 solid weeks. I finally reached the point of being able to wear high heels without limping. This was the point when I knew it was time to return to the gym.

The first day back I walked at a steady pace for 20 minutes then decided that actual running was in order. I managed 37 seconds before I almost fell off. Several days later I was able to make it for 5 minutes, and so the progress began.

Yesteday I was able to run at the same pace as before the injury occurred! I am a self proclaimed treadmill addict….and not being able to fully feed the addiction has been terrible. So today I toast my beat up running shoes, celebrate this moment, and hope for many more sweaty hours on the treadmill.

American Cheese is Gross

2007-07-30T15:13:00.000-04:00

I regularly grab a pre-made sandwich from the local grocery store for lunch. Ham and Swiss on a flaky croissant. Today I realized too late that the deliciousness of Swiss was replaced by the grossness of American. There are many wonderful things that are American made, processed cheese is not one of them.

By Request of Azucar

2007-06-19T19:28:00.003-04:00

Hello again ladies and gents. I finally read the responses to my last post that was. . .errrrrrr. . . kindly put, posted some months ago. I won't bore you with too many details. Let's just say that I have been somewhat busy and very definately lazy.

Dirty Jersey continues to treat me well. I have complained on numerous occasions that my talents are wasted and poorly paid. They are officially less poorly paid and not quite so wasted since there is a bigger number on the pay check now-a-days.

What else has been taking my time? A mostly new wardrobe that I took upon myself to sew. Quilts, knitting, gardening, running miles and miles on the treadmill, cooking, work, traveling and other things, oh wait, my life.

I seriously get to the end of the day and try to figure out how it was 5:30am about five minutes ago and somehow it's now 11:30pm at nite. I guess since time flies when you're having fun, I'm pretty sure that the last few months have had to have been a blast (how many haves, hads and hadn'ts can a girl use in a sentence and still have it make any kind of sense? oh my!).

So to Azucar, my sincere apologies. I'll try to be more fit for the Cool Table.

What does that picture have to do with? Absolutely nothing.

Dessert for Dinner

2007-03-08T16:48:00.000-05:00

This is just a dessert poorly disguised as a meal. I like to have breakfast for dinner when I'm home alone. A few nights ago El Senor was at work and I was sadly left to my own devices. I decided that a little bit of delicious sweetness was in order. I made perfectly sweet pancakes and then slathered them in a sweetened sour cream and cream cheese mixture. I topped all the goodness off with a generous dollop of raspberry preserves. I washed all of this down with an overly large mug of Irish cream flavored hot chocolate. It was delish!

Religion versus the Environmentalist

2007-02-22T15:17:00.000-05:00

I have a strange concern for our environment. I’m not completely daft about it, I recycle, I walk to the store when I can, I dream of having an electric car but I’m a bad example of water conservation since I prefer to turn myself into a prune every morning at 7am. However, I have noticed a definate escalation of "the crazy thoughts" these last few weeks.

I was running on the treadmill at the gym. As I panted along to some raging techno I was also watching "What Not to Wear" on good ol’ TLC. (I fear the camera, and that one day soon it will be after me because I wear sweats 15 hours out of the day…this is not a plea to send me to TLC for a makeover, I like my sweats.) Back to the point. As I chugged down some water and was reading the subtitles on the TV screen, a commercial came on for water desalination. Have you seen this commercial?

Now, this is probably a good thing since there are countries without drinking water. But all I could think is that over 3 BILLION gallons of water a year is being removed from the ocean. How is that getting back into the great seas? Are we causing the icecaps to melt faster by depleting the cold waters that they rest in? If this year it was 3 billion what will it be next year and the next and the next?

I realize that all the water is just recycled and ends up back in the ocean somehow. And really, 3 Billion is just a drop in the proverbial bucket. I decided to shared my random train of thought with El Senor and he just laughed at me. . .then decided to egg me on a little with this thought.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, where does all that ash come from?

For those of you who are sheltered like I was growing up (aka Mormon) and are wondering what Ash Wednesday is take a little gander here for some interesting reading. So then my brain start wandering, thinking, about where all the ash is coming from. Something has to be burned in order to get all that ash. Considering how many people go and get a blessing and an ash mark smeared on their forehead I began to believe that alot of something is being burned.

There is a lot of something, palm fronds. LOTS of palm fronds. According to an interview I heard on NPR it takes about 2,000 pounds of palm to make 50 pounds of ash. I perceive that much is burned and not much is created. Well, except much pollution, much carbon dioxide, and much GLOBAL WARMING.

So what is the moral of this story? I’m just glad that my religion does not prescribe to Ash Wednesday. I’m more than willing to use too much water but forget about polluting the air.

Briefing on Fuzzy Teeth

2007-02-21T19:45:00.000-05:00

I finally realized why my teeth felt fuzzy. This was not from eating too many sweets or having a lot of dairy today (which is the general culprit of teeth fuzz for me). Nor was it from taking a nap and waking up with out having a glass of water. Simply put I forgot to brush my teeth this morning.

I went to work, talked and smiled at people, met El Senor for lunch, gave him a few kisses goodbye, then continued talking to co-workers. It dawned on me as I was checking the local weather forecast for tomorrow (partly cloudy with a high of 39 degrees). Here I have been conversing with people all day with a dirty mouth.

I'm off to brush my fuzzy teeth now, thank you very much.

Driving Miss Daisy

2007-02-09T18:18:00.000-05:00

I decided to take a page out of Azucar's book and live my life like a movie. This week I was lucky enough to be like Ms Daisy and Thelma (there was no Louise to be found).

......................Part 1: Driving Ms.Daisy

I was asked by my boss to go out and visit some of the stores that we work with. I was given a list of 13 stores to take care of in the Brooklyn and Staten Island area over a 2 day time period. I was terrified. These stores were just out far enough that taking the subway and getting to all of them was going to be a real challenge. I determined that I would have to drive in order to get to all of them in the allotted time. This, of course, was a problem in and of itself. I have managed to master the art of New Jersey driving. However, I have had a great fear of moving on to other areas outside of my more familiar of stomping grounds. Thus, I cooked up a plan. El Senor could drive, while I did the navigating. This has worked in the past, and I must say that if you don't have TomTom to get you around I'm the second best thing out there. If there is a map available I can direct you from point A to point F in true style.

For unknown reasons El Senor was kind enough to spend an entire day with me driving all over Staten Island and Brooklyn. We visited Mother Russia, oh wait, that was actually Brighton Beach. We saw the King, no, no that was just King Street. We visited Dumbo, OK, not the Disneyland Dumbo but this one . We even managed to squeeze in a round with the Queen, wait that was just the Queens Expressway.

Anyhow, needless to say it was a very busy day. Due to El Senor's exceptional patience and driving skills we were able to get all 13 stores done in not 2 days, but in 6 hours. We managed to drive over 150 miles in a 7 hour time period. Now on the West coast that is just laughable, but out here that is a freaking miracle. Please include the 13 different stops that had to be made, plus one more for a treat and directions to the freeway that we could see but not actually get to. That is yet another funny story.

We asked 6 different people how to get to the freeway and none of them knew. Everyone we asked was at least 40 years old and this is what they all said "I don't drive, so I'm not sure how to get to the ramp." Can you imagine never having to drive ever? This is an understandable coming from a 15 year old who does not have a license. The last time someone said that to us El Senor got as close to a hissy fit as I've ever seen him .

Back to the original point, we finished the list in one day and I was faced with going into the office the next. I so wanted to play hooky and just pretend that I split the stores up over the 2 day time period. Being the good girl that I am I called my boss and told her I was done. There was a shriek on the other end of the phone. She could not believe that all the stores were done. I had to confess that I had recruited outside help. "That's not fair, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come with me and he wouldn't." Ahhhhhh great minds think alike. I was granted a reprieve since she was kind enough to give me a few more stores to do the following day.

...................Part Duex, Thelma on a Solo Trip

This time though I had to fly solo. El Senor had school and there was no avoiding driving myself. Somehow I managed to make my way across the Lincoln Tunnel, thru Manhattan and get myself into Queens. For some reason that was the most difficult part. Here are the highlights of day 2 of my Driving Adventure.

I found out that not only am I more than capable of directing others, I am also able to drive, read a map, navigate myself and shift all at the same time. I actually called Tiff-fay-fay at one point and practically yelled at her "I am a freaking navigating genius!"

As I was tearing down the Jackie Robison Expressway I realized that there something flapping on my windshield. For a moment I was perplexed, then the light dawned and I was just thinking to myself
.............. "Crap, I got a freaking ticket. . ."
When I was actually screaming out loud . . .
..Oh s*$&! There goes my f*#$**ing ticket!"
and it flew off my windshield to litter the road. I had been careful to park legally and fed all the meters, how did this happen? I will protest! Well, as soon as I can figure out who to protest to. The realization that not only had I gotten a ticket, but had now lost the terrible thing was quite horrifying.

I racked up another 140 miles and $45 in tolls. Thank goodness for expense reports. I seriously had to cross almost every bridge and toll booth in the 5 boroughs to get to where I needed to go. For your amusement , here they are in no particular order:

.................................Verrazano Bridge
..........................................Queens Midtown Tunnel
................................Lincoln Tunnel
.......................................Goethals Bridge
.......................................Marine Bay Bridge
.....................................Cross Bay Bridge
............................................NJ Turnpike
.................................Garden State Parkway

I eventually I made it back to Dirty Jersey since I decided that driving myself off the nearest bridge was a little extreme. Without a Louise to go down with and considering I hadn't killed a man I thought that it might be a little over the top to launch myself. So a I was lighter in the pocket but still in one piece and I home at last. Now what to do about that lost ticket? Perhaps I should just include it on the expense report.

Holiday Goodness?

2007-02-06T06:30:00.000-05:00

In case you all wanted and/or needed to know I am a ranter. There are things I realize that I should not be ranting about, but am somehow unable to contain myself. In the last few years I have jumped on my soapbox for a few noble causes (not voting for the faux president now residing in the White House, global warming, running red lights and the like.) Then there what I feel are the many more not quite so virtuous complaints.

These are, in general, just because I am bugged and instead of allowing others to enjoy whatever is going on, I choose to destroy it for them is well. What could I be talking about you ask yourself?

Christmas starting in August

I honestly saw Christmas wrapping paper at Costco in August last year, I am not making that up. With Christmas in August we now have the problem of other holiday competition. Halloween may soon creep into July, now ruining our summer celbrations, Thanksgiving is almost over looked and then of course is the all to important Valentine’s Day. Where in the world is Valentine’s to go? There is stiff competition trying to squeeze it in after with New Year’s Day, and there ain’t no pushing around that baby, so Valentine’s seems to be in a bit of trouble. How much trouble?

Oh, the Easter kinda trouble.

Yes, mixed in with the Valentine’s Day chocolates I have spotted Cadbury eggs. OK, I actually like that Easter is bully enough to cramp Valentine’s style. After all, do you want some blah blah chocolate or freaking Cadbury goodness? Really, not much besides Godiva can replace my love of the Cadbury. So although I’m well, let’s say a little pissy, about Christmas cutting into my summer vacation, I’m completely fine with Easter making it’s debut each and every January. Bring on that Cadbury bite of Heaven.

*End Rant

Husband Install

2007-01-31T09:58:00.000-05:00

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance --Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

------------------------------------------------------------ -----

Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package. While Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command:"http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and peformance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck, Tech Support

The Procrastinator is Lame

2007-01-15T21:40:00.000-05:00

I am a totally lame procrastinator. I took off a few days from work. During this time I had planned on doing the following things…

Put away Christmas.

The tree needs to be taken down
The garlands and wreaths wrapped up
The lights pulled from the eaves and windows
The presents (yes, there are still presents opened and under the tree that is still up in the front room)

Tidy up and air out the house.

This is made completely possible by the 50 to 60 degree weather that we are experiencing in lovely New Jersey. I’m treating this as an early Spring cleaning.
Do the laundry
Put away the clean dishes (for crying out loud the hard part is done.)
Vacuum
Sweep and mop my dirty floors

Work/Finish my many art and craft projects.

Quilts that are in pieces in every nook and cranny of my house (this is what is making vacuuming, sweeping and mopping of the utmost importance, there is literally thread and quilt scraps all over. I go to work and have to de-lint myself at my desk in order to be presentable for the day.)
Paint the empty canvases still under the Christmas tree.
Put the lovely framed pictures that are also under the tree on the wall.

How much of this was actually done. . . uuuummmm NADA. During 4 days of consecutive freedom I managed to only add to the chaos. There is more Christmas all over the place, more quilt stuff, paint, canvases and paint brushes littering the floors. I have added to the dirty clothes pile by going to the gym every day and sweating up all my clothes and then just tossing them into the pile. So now there is nothing that will even come close to passing a smell test. It must all be put through the wash. (And please, let’s not pretend you do not know what the smell test means.) I have also added to the dirty dishes and think I might just pile everything into the dishwasher whether it’s clean or dirty at this point just to get it out of the way. This sounds completely reasonable, don’t you think?

What did I manage to do you may ask? The run down is as follows…

Sleep in late
Spin class
Eat
Running
Hang out with El Senor Hubby
Eat
Sleep in late again
Dink around with El Senor
Eat and the eat some more
Spin class with El Senor this time
Lots of bad television (I have never seen worse programming than in the last 4 days.)
Worse movies that we rented
Went and saw a decent movie
Football Games
A quick tour of Rutger’s campus and book-buying trip for El Senor.
Sleep a little more
Eat a little more and, well you get the picture. . .

I think that covers it. I'm gonna go and toss in an emergency load of wash to get us through work and school tomorrow. Now, really, there is no need to complain. I completely realize that there are worse things than spending some quality down time with your honey. However, as I started to write this I think I may have taken it a little far. Perhaps just a little? I’ll tell you what though, I don’t really give a rat's patooshy. Hanging out and laughing with El Senor was the most productive thing that I’ve really done in weeks. And after all, the rest will all be there waiting for me tomorrow.

Apparently Disco is Dead

2007-01-05T17:25:00.000-05:00

My favorite radio station has changed formats. They went from super-groovalicious 70’s and 80’s dance music to crappy emo musak. No more Barry White crooning to me in the mornings. No Donna Summer on the drive home. And the BeeGees? Gone I say! There is not an even remotely comparable station to turn to. Everything else is hip-hop R&B crappola. This will just not do. I think I’m going to have to go with satelite radio as soon as possible.

An Ode to 2007

2007-01-02T17:27:00.000-05:00

. . .or a Husband's New Year Resolution.

It was the end of the night. As I lay in bed with my husband’s arms wrapped tightly around me I felt a warm breeze graze my ear as he softly whispered "I love you. . ." It was almost inaudible as the rain pounded on the porch outside.

We had eaten so many pieces of chocolate and had so much veggies with dip that by the time midnight came around you could have rolled us both right out the door. Hubby had spent many painful hours leading up to midnight watching Charmed with me on TNT. Other painful hours were filled with Law & Order SVU. He showed me he was a man of patience and perseverance as he gave me yet another opinion on the quilt I was slowly and painstakingly sewing together while turning the telly to the channels I wanted to watch. "Honey, can you turn it up a little so I can hear it over the sewing machine?" and up the volume would go. "Baby, can you turn it back to the other channel during the commercial?" and turn it he would. "Darling, do you think that I should move this patch over a little?" and an opinion he gave.

This was only a reflection of all the large and small things that he has done for me over the years. "Can you rub my feet? They hurt from standing all day…" "Would you mind starting the laundry? I have no work clothes for tomorrow. . ." So selfless and always willing to do more that I often tease him that he’s too good to me, perhaps even too good for me. He always gives me a hug and just says "It’s the easiest thing to be nice to those you love the most."

With our full tummies we raised our glasses to ring in the New Year. As the ball dropped in Time Square I asked him what his New Year’s resolution would be for 2007. He said that he only had one. He looked me in the eye and said so simply and sweetly, "To be a better husband of course. . ."

From this I decided that for the year 2007 I have only one resolution as well, to be a better wife. I am sure that if I can do this one thing that many things will change. If I can be kinder to the one I love the most I am certain that I will become a better daughter, a dearer sister, a kinder friend, a harder worker, a less road raged-filled-driver, a nicer stranger. All the big things that I always promise myself I will do each year and yet seem to fall short. I am certain that with this one resolution will suddenly fall into place.

So for my husband, this year I will be a better wife, because truth be told, I already have the best of husbands.

Hola!

2006-11-17T17:58:00.000-05:00

I seem to have a little problem these days. That little problem is that I feel it is much better to be checking on my fellow bloggers than taking care of my own house. I've just decided I don't really care. It is much more fun to eaves drop on everyone else's concerns and conversations than to go on and on and on about my own.

Things are just fine out here in the great Garden State. Since the Democrats are finally back in the driver's seat I'm feeling pretty fine. Then there is the new hot-hot-hot James Bond that started today. What more is there to say? Oh, this.... People buying the new PS-3 on Ebay for WAY too much $$mmoooollla$$ are out of their freaking minds.

Out of your freaking minds, I say!!!!

I am now planning to catch up with all my cyber-friends and plan a Thanksgiving menu. And Azucar, I too missed the off-ramp for Nerd City and headed straight over to Geek-ville.

Ciao, ciao!

** the picture is just a little eye-candy for all the ladies out there...

2006-09-21T13:30:00.001-04:00

I am blogging instead of working right now. Today I have decided that work is most definitely over-rated. Granted, it pays the bills and feeds my seriously out of control yarn habit. But otherwise it seems a little lack luster. I'm sure that there are many that would envy my position...you know, having a job that includes dental and eye-care. All week long though I have just wanted to be AT HOME. Not just the sitting and watching endless hours of Law & Order at home (which is one of my most sought after exercises). I want to be at home engaged in being a homemaker. Gardening, cleaning, canning, quilting, organizing, baking. . . all the delicious activities that I try to squeeze into my early evening hours before going to bed. I truly envy those who get to be stay-at-home-women. That is the best full time career that I can possibly dream of. In fact, I do dream of it.
I've been in a quandary the last few days. I was able to convince Senor Hubby that hitting up a few garage sales this weekend would be a great idea. I had in mind that I needed a new dresser to start keeping all my yarn and fabric stash that I keep on accumulating. I completely blame the Rag Shop and Joanne’s for this. If they just stopped selling things that I absolutely NEED then I would not NEED to by things anymore. Anyhow, there was a town-wide yard sale so we were able to hit at least 8 different places in less than an hour.
Each time we didn’t find what I was looking for I would tell the Senor Hubby that it was the LAST one. He continued to remind me that it was never the last one. I vowed that the last one really was the last one and told the dear one to drive me home pronto! Then of course there was another sign, and I vowed that this really was the last one. And it was! Only because I found what I was looking for. But what I found was even better than what I had imagined. It is a large 6 drawer dresser that matches our current bedroom set in perfect condition for 1/3 of the price. Let's just say that I can dicker like it’s going outa style. So we loaded up the new-to-us dresser and drove it on home. We got it upstairs and this is where the quandary begins. Where do I put the old smallish dresser now that I have the new and improved matchy-matchy dresser? Since this time I have moved the furniture in the living room, dining room/study, and the bedroom at least 7 times. Alone. While Senor Hubby was away at work. Lifting very heavy things many times and not scratching the wood floors can be exhausting work. Needless to say, I was so exhausted by all the moving I completely lost all my usual creative rearranging genius. Until last night.
I was sooooo tired after my day job and then from all the moving and lifting and painting and other goings-on from the night-time gig, that I decided to give myself a little treat and take a nap. While I was sleeping the dresser dilemma was solved. I woke up and did a little more heavy lifting and voila! I now have a lovely place for all my fabric and yarn. Senor Hubby says that I just have another surface to put stuff on. He does not fully realize his life is now more likely to not be over run with all of my craft stuff.
So, although there is now another surface in the house to PUT STUFF ON, there are also many drawers in which to hide stuff away. So I will sit here for a little longer and the leave to go to my real full time job of being a homemaker.

A Husband's Confession

2006-09-19T09:36:00.000-04:00

This is a true story. I'm not making any of it up at all, like I would normally do in order to make the store a little juicier.

Setting: Romantic Birthday Dinner for Hubby at a Candlelit Thai Restaurant. Imagine that we are both halfway through a very large meal and here is the conversation that follows.

Hubby: Baby, I have something to tell you.

Me: Oh, I love you too!

Hubby: Well, it’s more of a confession really.

Me: Ummmmm, ok?

Hubby: Well, I've been using your toothbrush for the last few days.

Me: (Laughing) Well that's just fine, I've used yours before too.

Hubby: Well, I', not really sure how long I've been using it, maybe a few weeks.
Me: Honey, don't even sweat it. I totally use Famous Amos' sometimes when we've been at my parents. So trust me, it's not a big deal.
Hubby: You use your sister's toothbrush?
Me: Sure, why not? This was before we got married.
Hubby: Hmmmmm....Maybe we should change the subject. This isn't good dinner conversation.

The End.

Mystery Woman

2006-09-06T13:13:00.000-04:00

I have been officially been called a mysterious woman today. Not as mysterious as the lady in the piture, but I'll take what I can get. This is much, much better than being a communist I must say! See?

T: hey woman of mystery . . . what's up??

Me: hi

T: signed off at 12:58:33 PM.

So although the conversation was very brief, I also feel it was very meaningful.
Yours truly, A Woman of Mystery

Unable to Phone Home

2006-09-01T19:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends,
I have the unfortunate duty to inform you that my old friend Sprint and I are friends no more. We have had our little spats over the years (after all, what 5 year relationship hasn't had a few bumps I ask you?) Most of these were smoothed over and forgotten. More recently, things have become a little more tense between the two of us. First, let me reflect on the happier times.

It was a giddy relationship at first. I picked up Sprint while living in the Big Apple all alone. Honestly, Sprint was almost a bit of a security blanket. I could always rely on him to put me in contact with friends and loved ones. When I was able to do this I felt less small and alone. There was also the safety feature of traveling as a shazammy twosome. Having my little friend along with me gave me a dose of much needed courage as a traipsed about in a very large, unknown place.

Later, as I needed to be in contact with future employers you were a LIFESAVER. Since I took you with me everywhere (and I mean everywhere) people were able to contact me and offer me buco bucks to come and work for them. You were also the best matchmaker EVER during this time. When I was with you I met Hubby. You never minded that now we were 3 instead of just 2, since I made sure never to neglect you.

Do you remember the time I totally went over my minutes? Yeah, that was during the wedding planning, and you LOVED every minute of it. Never once were you forgotten or ill-used. . . that was so much fun that I didn't even mind the very large bill that month. Obviously we were still in the honeymoon stage.

Shortly after the wedding the problems began. Of course the move across the country was rather stressful, and there was some hardware upgrades that had to be done but I still just KNEW that everything would be OK. How is it that you so quickly fizzled on me? I could no longer rely on you to be there.

I constantly had to sit out on my stoop to spend any quality time with you. And then began the random mail in the box that was so hateful! How could there be so much owed when so little was given?

The most unfortunate thing was that being with you was no longer any fun. I felt it would be just a matter of minutes before I could be with you! But you were tuning me out and dropping my calls! Family and friends no longer thought that it was funny or cute, just annoying when I called while they waited to be disconnected.

Just as you have disconnected me from you.

It all came to a very ugly end just yesterday. A screaming match occured on the street while I was locked out of the house. There was no recourse for me. I had to cut you out of my life. And so I sadly, but firmly, informed poor Andy that an upgrade would not help. Increasing my limit was definately not the resolution to this problem. Sorrowfully, I had to disconnect our entire relationship via a third party.

So dear family, friends and readers, I am currently without service. If you need to contact me, this is the place. Or, feel free to use good old email, snail mail, Hubby's phone or my favorite form of communication, ESPN. Just make sure that your reception is fully on.

XOXOX -BG

P.S. I am searching for another third for our little family, hopefully one that is a little more reliable than the last.

P.P.S. Charlotte, I just have to say how sorry I am that I yelled at you (please refer to the screaming match on the street ). I now realize that ME not having reception is not necessarily YOUR fault. There was the little issue of being locked out, standing in the rain and being put on hold for over 30 minutes. For some reason that just really tends to turn on my screaming voice. Again, I apologize and hope to somehow turn the karma-balance around.

I couldn't resist

2006-08-04T21:05:00.000-04:00

I didn't think I was being dishonest on this quiz. I really and truly thought that all my answers were pretty accurate. I'm not sure how many of my close friends would think that this is even remotely close to the truth.

Let us move on to my enemies. . . well obviously if this were at all valid I would not be discussing my enemies. Let's just say that there are at least 2 or more people roaming this good earth that would not mind seeing me meet my maker sooner (much, much sooner) rather than later. Anyhoooo...hope this makes you laugh too.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Because I am Lazy

2006-07-27T13:58:00.000-04:00

It's too hot and freaking humid to really figure out what I should write about today. So instead I took a quiz. . .

You Are 44% Control Freak

Generally, you are in control but not a control freak. You life is usually in order.
However, sometimes you get too obsessed with making everything in your life picture perfect.

Are You A Control Freak?

I must say that almost everyone I know would disagree with the 44%. Most would say 99.9%. But I really like the 44% since the number four happens to be my favorite number!

Lightning Strikes

2006-07-19T16:59:00.000-04:00

Chapter 1:
So I thought that I would be slightly more productive last night than just lying around in the Cool Room reading trashy detective novels. On my way to get Hubby from the Grill I stopped at the store to pick up some much needed groceries.

Chapter2:
There was a crazy lightning and thunderstorm in the works with lots of debris and wind involved. So, although I usually drive like a crazy person, when a storm is thrown into the mix all bets are off. I drive like my life depends on getting from point A to point B in 2 seconds or less. Hubby laughs at my fear of lightning in a gentle sort of way, but there is true fear and desperation on my end of things.

Chapter 3:
Imagine branches falling off the trees and raised manholes reaching 5 inches above the grated road and you have a general idea of how I may have looked like a drunkard while speeding at 50 miles an hour down residential streets marked for 25mph.

Chapter 4:
Somehow, I made it to the store in one piece. While tooling around the aisles grabbing the much needed grub I heard a low, ominous rumbling followed by a loud CRACK! All of the sudden I found myself standing alone in the pitch black dairy section. I could here the other shoppers laughing and talking...but all I could think was "Where the hell is the chocolate pudding? Was it on the left or was it on the right?" I stood there with this distracting dilemma for a few minutes before the generators turned on and I was able to determine that I really didn't need the pudding anyhow.

Chapter 5:
I made it to the checkout and paid for my stuff. As I exited the building I saw what had caused the power outage...the lightning had hit a transformer 20 feet away from my car. I am now beginning to think that my unreasonable fear of lightning is not so unreasonable after all.

Craig's List Rocks my World

2006-07-15T10:06:00.000-04:00

I HEART Craig's List. Oh, Craig! You're so FINE!!!! That is all there is to it.

If you have not experienced Craig's List I recommend that you go there immediately. I have found that Craig has many things to offer. Need a new place to live? he can hook you up. Need to find a different home for a beloved pet? Craig will find a lovely family to take in your sweetie-pie. How about a new carburetor for your truck? Craig can find someone willing to barter with you to replace the broken part.

I find myself spending a substaintial portion of my slow afternoon browsing through his crazy pages. What great entertainment! Of course my favorite is free, barter, garage sales and of the always entertaining wanted. Really, what more could a girl ask for? Considering how many hours I spend on hold a day it is always a relief to get down with a little Craig. I have included a few of my favorite finds from the last week. Hope these little gems make you laugh your booty off too.

1)
To the Jewish guy watching gay porn near the Bagdad:
My friend wanted to say sorry for yelling "Pervert!" really loud by your window. He didn't think you could hear and it was kind of weird that we could see right into your window from the sidewalk and see a menorah on the sill and hardcore gay porn on the tube. Either way we just wanted you to know that we think you're creepy, not a pervert.
Sincerely, The People Who Interrupted Your Evening M#@**@$$!n Session

2)
TAKE MY SON TO HIS PROM:
I won't go into the whole story, but my son got dumped by the girl he was going to take to his prom. The prom is in a few weeks and I want him to have a date. So here is the deal. Go with my son as his date. No expectations on his or my part other than going to the prom with him. He is tall, fairly good looking, but somewhat unexperienced with girls. He is not a geek as he played on 2 varsity high school sport teams for the past 3 years. What's in it for you. $500 cash for your time and I will pick up the cost of your dress, hair styling, etc. up to another $300. You will be picked up in a limo. Requirements are that you are cute and could pass for 17-19.
Thanks

3)
$950 / 2br - 2 Br- Another Landlord Warning:
This is just a posting to alert all renters that there is an apartment for rent in Belleville, NJ on Washington Avenue. The landlords there are horrible and they will not repair or fix anything. There were problems from no heat, to back up of sewage that it took months to get the landlords to fix. Please contact me via email if you want the apartment location. I do not want anyone to experience this. I had to file a lawsuit and move out immediately.

map

2006-07-08T22:19:00.000-04:00

Don't Monkey Around

2006-06-13T11:35:00.000-04:00

You Are A: Monkey!

Monkeys are intelligent and agile, well-adapted for jungle life as they swing happily from tree to tree. As a monkey, you are a social animal who prefers a warm climate, eats a wide range of food and is quick to learn new things. A monkey's tiny primate features are irresistable, as is her gregarious personality!

You were almost a: Kitten or a Duck

You are least like a: Groundhog or a Turtle

What Cute Animal Are You?

An Idea?

2006-06-09T17:57:00.000-04:00

This is my official 'Holla to Utah!' I am returning to the lovely west coast in just one week. I hope that whilst visiting my crazy family in Provo I may also be able to meet up with all my blog friends. Some of you I have met, (Tiffany, Carina, CJane and Hey Judy!) others I stalk(Lucky Red Hen, More Caffeine Please) and I think that some of you may lurk about here with my Misadventures. Let me know if you have time to meet, perhaps lunch? Any other suggestions are welcome.

TNT BLOWS

2006-06-05T19:03:00.000-04:00

TNT is usually my favorite TV station, but during the months of May and June it totally blows. This week in particular my patience is being tried. How is it possible to have one...only ONE episode of Law & Order on in the evening? Somehow With Out a Trace and Basketball finals have usurped the rightful TNT monarchy. What is this world coming too?!?!? I need a daily dose of Briscoe and Greene. OK, I'll be honest, I need at least 3 doses of those two. Moving on. . .I am ready to start a petition. Perhaps a 24 hour Law & Order network would take care of this problem?

Hire Him

2006-06-03T11:35:00.000-04:00

If I had my own company I would hire this guy in a

freaking heart beat.

He has more than a few desirable qualities. . .dont' you agree?

better veiw here. . .

Hot Pink Dress Mess

2006-05-29T22:04:00.000-04:00

I can no longer bring myself to sew.

Not one more stitch, not one more pleat, tuck or gather. I have worked for hours and cannot get the freaking skirt to match up to the stupid bodice. Just the fact that everything in my vocabulary is now prefaced with stupid and more stupid should give you a pretty good idea of how absolutely stupid this stupid dress is making me feel.

I rarely follow patterns....but this time I have followed everything to a freaking T. Still, I am unable to make the dress work. Perhaps it is the 2 layers of hot pink chiffon, combined with a layer of slick buttercup satin and not my poor sewing or stupid direction following skills.

Carina, do you have any left over vodka that you could send my way?

7 Sevens

2006-05-23T10:11:00.000-04:00

These are 7 Sevens of Carina’s Choosing Since I am Too Lazy to Come up with my Own Categories. . .

7 things I want to do before I die:
Triathlon
Italy
India
Live in England
Have Babies
Become the Next Martha Stewart
Have my own photo book published

7 things I cannot do:
Follow a sewing pattern to save my life (this kinda defeats the Martha Stewart thing)
Drive like a normal person
Stop grinding my teeth at night when I am stressed
Convince myself that the Harry Potter movies were any good
Like idiotic teen shows on MTV
Go to bed at a decent time
Keep my mouth shut when I should

7 things that attracted me to my spouse:
He tells me yes
He’s an undercover Hippy with good fashion sense
He loves animals
Has a twinkle in his eye when he laughs
Yankees fan
The voice of reason in my life
Is not upset when I cry

7 things I look forward to every day
Waking up with Hubby
The treadmill
Driving to work and listening to Mike & Mike on ESPN
Knitting
Reading up on my friends’ faraway lives via blogs
Watching the Charmed and Law & Order line up on TNT
Seeing all the ducks on the local pond
Going to sleep next to Hubby

7 books I love:
Harry Potter (All of them)
The Handmaid's Tale
My Name is Asher Lev
Anne of Green Gables (Just the first 3)
The Devil Wears Prada
The Alchemist
The Kite Runner

7 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
The X-Men (1, 2 and hopefully 3)
Emma
Ever After
Never Been Kissed
Sixteen Candles
Twelve Monkeys
The Matrix (the first one only)

7 sites I Visit Everyday (I came up with this one on my own!)
The Jet Set
The Yarn Harlot
Dictionary.com
Wikipedia.org
Tiffany Twisted (I am ever hopeful)
Weather.com
Cute Overload

7 (minus 3) People From Whom I'd like to hear 7 Sevens of their own choosing if they can be bothered:
SuperSig
TiffanyTwisted
C-Jane
Cicada

The Miracle of Motherhood

2006-05-14T14:18:00.000-04:00

Yes, today is Mother's Day. I began to reflect on this yesterday as I was trolling to the gym and almost took out an entire family of Canada Geese. As I zipped up a very busy road next to the local university I saw a gaggle (yes, really a gaggle) of geese. There were a few grown-ups sheparding their new goslings along this very busy road. I pulled into the nearest parking lot and watched as the mothers continued to hustle the children up the road.

Let me just say that I would never consider walking, running or traversing this road in any situation as a safe endeavor. Even in the middle of the day wearing an neon orange reflector vest, I would not be on the side of this street. Needless to say, I was impressed by the sheer bravery and fortitude of these crazy mamas for trying to move their young brood to what I suspect is a safer location than their hatching place. Thankfully, these gangly geese made it to the local pond with all their gosslings in good order.

I'm sure that there are all types of Moms, Mothers, Mommies, Mas or what-have-you out there that would understand the need to protect thier young. I'm grateful for my own Ma Bowler who was the fiercest of women when it came to her children. Always ready to instruct, help, bolster and most importantly love the craziness that is our family. There are other women, not my own mother, but those that are also great examples that have shown me how exceptional women can be. My lovely mother-in-law, my sis-in-law, Tiffany, Carina, Famous Amos, and Charlie just to name a few. . .all these women, not all moms, but all great influences of what women and mothers should strive to be.

So to all you wonderful women, Happy Mother's Day to you.

Ghet-Toes

2006-05-10T16:37:00.000-04:00

People, I am giving you very fair warning here. . . if you have a weak stomache this is not the post for you. Only continue to scroll down if you have a hearty constitution, otherwise you should go and read someone else's fluff. (However, this does no apply to poor Carina or Tiff, since I emailed them this and they had no choice in the matter.) You, however can pick your own adventure.

OK, so you are still reading, are you really ready?

Please, if you have any doubts reconsider now. . .

Too late!

There is a serious possiblity that she could put out someone'seye with these things.

I would think that someone with nails this long and elaborately painted would have enough sense to shave their hairy legs. . .

How does she wear shoes. . . how!?!?! or even walk for that matter?

Please do not attempt this at home. Thank you.

Lunchtime Weather Report

2006-04-19T16:07:00.000-04:00

The weather was fine and fair today with a slight NW wind.

Each day I take an hour and lounge on the grass while I eat my lunch. Needless to say, my mood relies heavily on the weather for the next few months. As long as the weather is nice enough for me relax outside on my beach towel everything is A-O-K. Take away this small afternoon luxury and off with your head!

I'm sure that my co-workers are grateful. . . Everything in the work place is peachy keen on this fine spring day.

Come Steal My Baby!

2006-03-24T09:48:00.000-04:00

Since moving to NJ I have noticed these really strange signs announcing the birth of a baby. These large, happy storks proclaim the sex, weight, length, and name of the household’s newborn child. Perhaps this phenomenon is occurring in other parts of the country and I just never noticed them before. I am concerned.

Would you post on your lawn that you had a newly purchased plasma TV on the premises? Or that you were finally able to splurge on a diamond necklace? It leaves me to wonder why in the world you would proclaim the most precious of things now resides in your home. I realize that this may sound absolutely ludicrous but with the random acts of violence that have occurred to expectant mothers and the number of kidnappings that are reported each year, I would hesitate to make this public to all the crazies driving by my house.

I will say that there is a certain charm to the idea. Perhaps if I once again lived in small town America I would consider this form to broadcast how wonderful my child is. However, in the very metropolitan area that I currently reside, forget about it.

Oh Hubby, Where Art Thou?

2006-03-23T11:24:00.000-04:00

Hubby, also known as the Supersig, why do you no longer post? I miss your witty view on life, politics and sports. Some have even inquired as to your health. Are you alive and well? Why do you post no more?

The scathing diatribe against the devil woman Babs was the last we have heard from you. The story about Pa Bowler and the rest of the boys at Best Buy is an absolute gem. And the disparaging comments against Rush? definitely golden.

Please return the world of blog. We miss you and all you have to say about the world.

Merry to be Married

2006-03-22T11:18:00.000-04:00

My 19 year old sister is getting married in June. She will be turning 20 before she is married but I still find it intriguing that people are allowed to get married before they can legally consume alcohol. The rest of this will most likely be very, very fluffy.The fluff aspect comes as I start complaining about colors and dresses and invitations etc. . .

New words to enterMiss Famous Amos' vocabulary are as follows with definition:

Watermelon: a color.
Buttercup: a color.
A-line: a dress style.
Tea length: a dress style.
Bridesmaids: the lucky girls who get to wear watermelon and buttercup A-line, Tea-leangth dresses.
Expense Account: something you try to get from Ma and Pa Bowler.
Honeymoon: now in the very near future
Chiffon: wear it, drape it, use it.
Netting: wear it, drape it use it.
Invitations: free because her older sister is available and talented.

Now there is definately more I am sure, but these are the few that I have encountered so far. I'm actually really happy for Miss Famous but also sad to see my little sis grow up so fast. Cross your fingers that the dress makes me look more svelte than a watermelon and that I smell sweeter than a buttercup on the big day.

Lazy is Also Relative

2006-03-21T22:13:00.000-04:00

Apparently I have been too busy doing other things. This equals me being too lazy to sit down and write a point 2 second post. So this is how I have choosen to fill the void.

With very bad internet spoofs and other bits of entertaining fluff. . .

Being Productive is Relative

2006-02-25T19:42:00.000-04:00

Whilst running my legs off at the gym a few hours ago I decided that instead of turning on Law & Order this evening I would do something productive. I've been home for 30 minutes and my house is imaculate, dishes done, floors vacuumed and toilet scrubbed. So now here I sit at the computer posting, stalking and surfing. Oh, and grooving to a little bit of Miss Lauren Hill.

She is the real reason I decided the television should remain off tonight. As I drove to the grocery store from the gym one of her songs came on the radio. At that moment I determined I would have to leave Briscoe and Green to their own devices. Lauren and I had a hot date. I put away the gorceries as I be-bopped to some long unheard tunes. I have an entire line up of long unheard music all ready to put into the rotation this evening.

Here are a few random side notes. . . . my blog is 1, yes just 1, hit away from 1,000. So if you are the lucky number 1,000 visitor please let me know! Also, I cannot wait for Grey's Anatomy tomorrow and Lost on Wednesday. Oh, and the soon to return Sopranos. Watching the reruns is definately funnier now that we live in New Jersey and I can hardly contain myself waiting for the new season.

So this is how I am spending the remainder of my evening being productive. Not watching television, instead just obsessing about it. Maybe I will treat myself to an hour of the Olympics later, or maybe not. After all, Sting, Erasure, Miss Keyes, Madonna and a few other people are just dying for my attention.

Manly Men

2006-02-20T01:21:00.000-04:00

I had a realization today as I watched the 2006 Winter Olympics. For some peculiar reason men wearing tights* should never hug each other. All my life I have seen men hugging and patting each other on the butts. . . . this usually was the norm for manly contact sports such as football, hockey and the like. However, if you are wearing tights or any form of spandex without padding I think that an exuberant high-five should suffice. Leave the hugs and the emotional outbursts alone.

If you really feel the overwhelming need for a hug, please feel free to give one to your wife, girlfriend or fully clothed coach. Leave all excess spandex-y hugging far behind and to the boy-skating-men's-figure-skaters in the kiss and cry area . . otherwise you may just end up looking a little bit, uuuummmmmm. . . . . well, brokeback.

*Discalimer: Please do not ask why it has taken the last 29 years for me to piece this one all together. . . I am still baffled by it myself.

Days like today...

2006-02-18T09:49:00.000-04:00

On mornings like this I look at pictures of sweet little kitty-cats and I feel so much better. My recomendation? Do whatever it takes to avoid international calls at 6 o'clock on a Saturday morning. Or follow my example. . . . just gaze longingly at the kitties and try to block out the crazy with the English accent on the other end of the line. Enough said.

and the Kitchen Sink...

2006-02-11T23:11:00.000-04:00

This is actually a post that I procracinated from last week.

On the subject of procrastination....I find it amazing all the things that I find myself working on while the kitchen sink slowly fills up with dishes. Somehow, I manage to tell myself that knitting one more row is a much better idea than loading the dishwasher. Or that watching another rerun of Project Runway is definately more important than scrubbing the toilet. Needless to say, sometimes the kitchen sink ends up looking like this. . . .

(Hubby is nice enough to clean up the kitchen explosions that I make).

On the other hand, since I can completely ignore the pile-up in the sink and the laundry debacle in the bedroom, Hubby gets a new bag for his yoga mat. And it looks like this. . . .